Hope is My Anchor

Lyme Disease Epidemic Message on the Superbowl Jumbtron - ILADS

2012-01-30T10:48:00.004-06:00

Hopefully one day there will be a cure. Merry

Lyme Disease Epidemic Message on the Superbowl Jumbtron - ILADS

Super Bowl just the ticket for Lyme disease education.

The International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society is running a powerful public service campaign to create greater awareness of the misdiagnosis of Lyme disease on a JumboTron outside the XLVI Super Bowl at Lucas Oil Stadium.

"Lyme disease is a silent epidemic in America. We want to alert and educate consumers about this disease, which is often misdiagnosed. Left untreated, it will become chronic and debilitating," said Leo J. Shea, III, PhD, President of the non-profit International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society (ILADS). "Tick-borne illnesses compromise your immune system and the diagnosis, which is largely based on symptoms, can be elusive unless a physician is Lyme-literate."

Open Eye Pictures and Burgess Communications partnered to create and edit a pro bono spot for the Ilads Super Bowl use. The thirty second spot was created by selecting and assembling footage from Open Eye Pictures' Oscar short listed movie UNDER OUR SKIN and sends viewers to the ILADS.ORG website for more information.

"After four years of research and production — and over 375 hours of footage, what we uncovered is a chilling tale of microbes, medicine and money," says filmmaker Andy Abrahams Wilson. "I want to show the horror of an illness and ill system that too long has been ignored."

Donna Weidel, President of Burgess Communications, adds, "I suffer from Lyme disease and from years of misdiagnosis. Finally I was tested for Lyme - and found a Lyme-literate doctor. Lyme is estimated to be growing faster than AIDS and has become a global health problem. This pro bono spot will draw more attention to the need for better diagnosis."

ILADS is a nonprofit, international, multi-disciplinary medical society, dedicated to the diagnosis and appropriate treatment of Lyme and its associated diseases. ILADS promotes understanding of Lyme and its associated diseases through research and education and strongly supports physicians and other health care professionals dedicated to advancing the standard of care for Lyme and its associated diseases.

DONATE TO ILADS EDUCATIONAL NON-PROFIT

ILADS Board of Directors is very appreciative of any financial support to further Lyme disease educational efforts.

"Eating Crow With Lyme"

2012-01-10T12:32:00.002-06:00

Last fall I read this article, Eating Crow with Lyme, in the HSLDA Magazine. I was ecstatic today to find an online link to the article. Dr. Rodger Sayre states that he used to believe Lyme was hard to get and easy to treat...until a family member got it and couldn't get diagnosed, but was finally treated by a Lyme doctor. It's an excellent article, has great links at the end for people to use and he's humble about having to change his position on this.

Michael Farris Jr. was put on a task force by the gov. in Virginia to look into the Lyme epidemic in that state. (The CDC now reports that new Lyme cases are at least four times more common annually than HIV/AIDS cases. It's the most common vector-borne illness in the United States, with 29,959 reported cases in 2009.). I'm so thankful for their work, and for all those who are looking for a cure for Lyme. Several in Michael's family have Lyme disease; it's such a difficult disease to deal with, and my heart goes out to them.

Transitions

2011-12-03T23:45:00.002-06:00

In the Bible, in the book of Job, that man of God laments: “Look, I go forward, but He is not there, and backward, but I cannot perceive Him; When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him; when He turns to the right hand, I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; and when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:8-10

My friend Donna writes so beautifully of those hard, messy transitions we go through...and the hope to expect something beautiful at the end. If you're going through a tough time, please go read her latest entry on her blog, Thoughts from Creek Crossing.

Challah Bread: The Pinch

2011-09-18T16:23:00.008-05:00

In our small group, my husband led us in a study of OT feasts that he called “Portrait of the Messiah,” because the feasts reveal so much about Jesus. When we studied the Sabbath, I made Challah bread, and found it an especially spiritually moving experience. These are my musings from that day:

Challah is traditionally a richer bread, made with eggs. Two loaves are served, reminiscent of the Lord providing a double portion of manna in the desert, so that the Israelites wouldn’t have to gather it on the Sabbath. A portion of the dough is pinched off in dedication to the Lord after saying a blessing. Originally the command was from Numbers 15:20 to give a portion of bread to the priests, a portion dedicated to the Lord. Today the pinch is to be burned.

“Mom, what’s a pinch?” my kids asked…and I too wondered, how much do I give to the Lord? (I remember the widow of Zaraphath who baked the last of her bread and gave some to Elijah…)

The simple act of pinching off a piece to dedicate to God reaches far into the soul. It’s like giving a bit of my life to God. Maybe there’s something I need to do but don’t want to—but I can pinch off that bit of time and dedicate it to the Lord and do what He has asked—suddenly there is joy in the task. Suddenly there is holiness.

Dedicated—irretrievable. What do we think we’ll dedicate to the Lord and then take back in our time or our money or other gifts—they were not meant to be accessible to us again. A dedication cannot be taken back. It is no longer ours—it belongs to the Lord.

Peace. Wheat that I ground (and they would also have grown), and then mixed—and then let rest. Dough that I kneaded, the heel of my palm pressing into the spongy form until it springs back and glistens—and then let it rest. Then braided and formed—let it rest again. And finally baked—and then it rests. Bread is full of resting.

Vulnerability. As if I have pinched off something of me in that pinch, because I was there in the making of it—as was He. There is no bread without rain, without land, without strength, without fire...or without the mysterious seed that somehow grows and becomes something new. And there is no bread unless we harvest, process, mix, knead, form, bake. A physical connection with the workings of God. The part that I give is so small—and what He gives fills the stomach and the soul. And so we pray over the pinch and connect with Him again.

I thought, I hold the pinch in the palm of my hand, about the size of an olive. I control so little—just this one piece of dough. I realized how small I really am. Our lives, all of our needs, my kids spiritual lives, my husband’s health, everything—is in the palm of the Lord’s hand. And so we, who can do nothing, appeal to the Lord for strength, healing, wisdom. If we have the power to help someone or to affect anything in our lives, it is from the Lord.

I hold the fate of this one piece of dough. Treat it as holy—dedicated to the Lord. But it is just a small offering.

What else is in our hands? The ability to help another. Treat the opportunity and especially the person, as holy. Dedicate our time, our possessions, whatever portion we can give—to the Lord. Give thanks to the One who enables us to give. And remember His rest, His peace.

The Sabbath meal is served without knives (or a knife is covered if one is needed), because it is a day of peace. The braiding of the bread means you can break off a chunk easily—no cutting needed. Peace—for today we lay down our weapons of war, whether wars between countries or wars between individuals. The lion lies down with the lamb. There are no knives used in the baking of the bread. Swords are pounded into plowshares. Hatred, anger, malice, revenge—all put aside to let peace reign in our hearts and allow the Lord to heal the wounds and touch our hearts.

The bread of life—we pinch off a tiny piece in trust. We are giving our food—and He becomes to us the Bread of Life, our Sustainer, Healer, Provider—He becomes the food that sustains and the Eternal Food.

Give me Jesus

2011-09-06T16:36:00.000-05:00

My husband's doctor is on a medical missions trip to the Dominican Republic, to a very poor area with no running water and no access to medical care. In one of his updates he wrote this:

"Visited a lady who has been bedridden for 17 years and asked if she needed anything. Her reply--'I have Jesus, I don't need anything else.' How humbling to see her faith."

Reminded me of this song, and thought I'd share.

When I rise...when I am alone...when I come to die, Give me Jesus.

Is it Too Much?

2011-07-17T13:10:00.001-05:00

This morning the pastor asked what Abraham must have felt as a father when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac--the son he had waited 25 years for, his cherished, beloved son, the fulfillment of God's promise to him...I can't speak for Abraham, but my first thought was, "It's too much." Sometimes I think that about Dave's health too--it's too much, all that he has to go through, the loss of dreams and ability...

And then he asked how God the Father felt, when He gave up His beloved son for us. Was it too much? He didn't think so. And I was reminded again that the things we give up that are so painful at the time can be part of our worship of God, can be given up willingly rather than begrudgingly. We can be the victim, viewing everything as taken from us--or we can be the giver, saying, "Here are our lives. We are yours, God. Do with us as you will." Maybe we don't get to give the gift we wanted to give, but we are not denied the opportunity to share in the suffering of Christ if our lives are a living sacrifice, are an act of worship to One who is worthy of more than we could ever give. (See Romans 12:1-3).

And even in sacrifice, there is a great gift to us. God told Abraham, "Now I know that you fear God..." The word for know is not mere knowledge, but intimate, personal, relational knowing. He invites us in our sacrifice to know Him more, and in our testing, our relationship with Him is deepened...if we are willing.

Being Watchful

2011-06-18T15:58:00.000-05:00

Last night I noticed that the kitchen garbage was empty. And I smiled to myself, because I knew my son had taken it out without being told. Duly noted, I hadn't mentioned it to my son, but he made sure to bring it up today. And it gave me such a great opportunity to affirm him. "I know you don't like me calling you a 'young man,' but it's a mark of becoming a man to see a need and take the initiative to take care of it without being told." He said, "thanks," in a way that let me know, maybe he didn't mind the "young man" status so much.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1.

I think as mothers that we have to be watchful for opportunities like these. It's so easy to focus on the times kids don't do what they're told or that they have to be told...that we can miss the fact that they are young, growing persons who need to be affirmed, who need to see what it is to be a man or a woman, who need to be respected for their growth and not torn down for their failures. They need to know they can make us smile and make us proud.

Needful Grace

2010-09-17T22:33:00.002-05:00

I think the older I grow, the more I learn to rest in God's grace, to trust in His sovereignty and timing. Not to say that I don't still go into my tizzies, I do that quite well! But...slowly, year by year, I'm learning to depend on Him, and that He sustains us and walks with us and abides with us. I like that word, abide, and the depth of His presence it brings to my mind.

This "Grace Gem" is from a few days ago (catching up on my emails!) but ministered to my heart. If you are empty and weak--then seek His fullness and strength. So often we want change, but we only sometimes get change. Sometimes He wants to give a deeper gift of Himself, one we often don't understand in the moment, one we want to rail against and reject--and yet, He continues to offer more of Himself in our times of need. Merry

NEEDFUL GRACE

(John MacDuff, "The Faithful Promiser")

"As your days--so shall your strength be." Deuteronomy 33:25

God does not give grace--until the hour of trial comes. But when it does come--the amount of grace, and the nature of the special grace required--is granted. My soul! do not dwell with painful apprehension on the future. Do not anticipate coming sorrows, or perplexing yourself with the grace needed for future emergencies. Tomorrow will bring its promised grace--along with tomorrow's trials.

God, wishing to keep His people humble, and dependent on Himself--does not give a stock of grace. He metes it out for every day's exigencies, that they may be constantly traveling between . . .
their own emptiness--and Christ's fullness;
their own weakness--and Christ's strength.

But when the exigency comes, you may safely trust an Almighty arm to bear you through!

Is there now some "thorn in the flesh" sent to lacerate you? You may have been entreating the Lord for its removal. Your prayer has, doubtless, been heard and answered; but not in the way, perhaps, either expected or desired by you. The "thorn" may still be left to goad, the trial may still be left to buffet; but "more grace" has been given to endure them! Oh! how often have His people thus been led to glory in their infirmities, and triumph in their afflictions--seeing that the power of Christ rests more abundantly upon them! The strength which the hour of trial brings--often makes the Christian wonder to himself!

Back to School!

2010-07-20T23:41:00.002-05:00

Well, we started back to school yesterday. We are not quite "year-round schoolers," but I find it's easier on us to start early and be able to take off time throughout the year when we need it. Plus I find that with a shorter summer break (6 weeks instead of 10 or more), the kids don't forget as much. This will be our 9th year homeschooling. (Wow! Hard to believe!)

I like to start back with just a few subjects and ease into things--so far we are doing:

■Bible
■History
■Spelling
■Reading
■Math

Some years I've started with only one or two subjects, and slowly added on more to "ramp up" over the course of a month. This year I wanted to start with these 5, and in a few weeks we'll add on more LA and Science. I have to say though that I'm enjoying our current pace, and am not so sure I really WANT to change things!

One new idea I had while preparing for this year--when I pre-read my kids' readers (mostly Sonlight and a few others), I am using an index card for a bookmark and taking notes. Some books have tough vocabulary, so I'm going to put the definitions right on the card for the kids to use as a bookmark. Other books have lots of characters that can be hard to remember--so for those books I'm listing characters and their relationships to each other. I'm hoping this will help them get more out of their reading, and then eventually I can transition them to some of these habits.

For spelling, I started back reviewing some mastered cards from AAS on the first day. The kids retained almost everything! I was so excited for them. The notes they wrote me this summer were near perfect spelling, so I knew they were doing well--nice to see confirmation though! My son started Level 5 today. I'm hoping he can get through 5 and half of 6 this year, so that we can finish up spelling in his 9th grade year. We'll see how it goes! My daughter is just a few lessons into Level 4.

History had a rough spot this morning--my 11 yo daughter was in a talkative mood and my 13 yo son was...well...13: the age when it's interminably hard to have a little sister who knows anything...But when I said her points were legitimate and that I wanted to hear them--and that further I wanted ALL of us to participate in a lively discussion--he changed his tune and we had a great discussion! So encouraging. I'm really looking forward to history this year (we're using The Mystery of History) and the opportunity for them to do some independent projects. And it's fun to be back in Genesis for our Bible reading.

Math--my son is good at math but usually balks at it--however today he willingly did *3* lessons! We switched to Math-U-See for Pre-Algebra (Horizons doesn't go up that high), and he really likes Steve Demme. I wonder how long the honeymoon will last? LOL! I did tell him that it's good to whiz through the easy stuff now so he can spend more time on the harder concepts later on. My daughter is continuing with Horizons. Last year we didn't quite finish her book, so this year I'm having her take the tests at the beginning of the new level--to get past all of the review and leave more time at the end of the year for the new stuff (so we can finish!). I told her when she gets less than an A on a test, that's where we'll start in the book. She thinks that idea is the best thing since apple pie!

All in all, a good start back. I hope this trend continues! Anyone else start back yet or making plans?

What Child, What World?

2009-12-13T13:02:00.005-06:00

Today in the Christmas choir we sang a unique arrangement by Audrey Snyder called The Coventry Child. In it she masterfully weaves a 16th century lament called The Coventry Carol which mourns the babies that a jealous and power-hungry Herod killed, with a more popular 16th century melody, What Child is This?

A haunting, lonely "lullay, lullay," mourns goodbye while notes of wonder ask what child has come--and well we might ask, what world has He come to? The nativity scenes we set up always look so peaceful, but the reality is that Christ was born to a lost and fearfully dark world full of tragedy and evil.

Out of darkness came a glorious light--though He was different than what they expected. They expected a political leader to come overthrow an oppressive government--and that was a serious need. Instead He came to overthrow something even more insidious and harmful, and to create not a temporary kingdom, but an eternal one. He came to save our souls.

Isaac Watts aptly expressed the juxtaposition in his hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross when he wrote, "Sorrow and love flow mingled down..." Jesus carried the evil of the world and the burden of all sin when He gave His life in love. He who suffered through no fault of His own knows intimately the pain of suffering--and when we suffer unjustly, we draw near, we understand a part of what He went through willingly.

Perhaps today Jesus is still different from what we expect. We long and look for the one who will overthrow the oppressive forces in our lives, and sometimes He does. But sometimes He overcomes them silently by strengthening us and enabling us to endure, because His kingdom is not of this world, and His purposes go beyond what we see in the here and now.

Lullay thou little tiny child...
What Child is this who laid to rest...
By by lully, lullay...
This, this is Christ the King...

As the strains of music encircle and interweave, the song reveals the identity of our Savior and ends not in the minor chord of a lament, but the major chord of the hope that has now come. The hope that is ours even now, that beacons, calls to each heart: even in the midst of suffering, now is the time of God's favor, now is peace with God. May His peace reign in your hearts this Christmas.

Merry :-)

The essence of life

2009-10-25T19:17:00.002-05:00

Sometimes life can be so discouraging. This summer and fall have been a season of discouragement. Dave has been unable to read again. He wanted to teach our small group, but his body is not cooperating in so many ways.

I read another blog, Find Us Burning, tonight, and she had great truth in her post on Love. She wrote:

"I loved it when God told me that even if I was in a coma I could still fulfill His purpose for my life. That He would not be disappointed if I didn't lift another finger for Him. Everything I was doing on the outside, in the physical realm, was just extra...just a day job. This changed my life, the day I chose to believe this! It is such a special promise. To God, knowing Him and dwelling with Him, praising Him and trusting Him, this is the essence of Life."

To read her complete, and very worthwhile post, click here.

It might be easy to think that this is true for someone else--but it's very difficult to believe this for oneself.

It's not easy to give up our vision for what serving God should look like--and as Lindsay describes in her post, we can feel such anger over what God has taken when all we wanted to do was show God how much we love Him. For all that chronic illness steals--it cannot steal your worth and value to God, and it can't separate you from Him--even when it feels like it does.

Merry

Sufficient to Each Day

2009-10-12T12:01:00.004-05:00

No matter how many times I hear this sentiment, it's never too many times! So, I thought I would share today's "Grace Gem." Perhaps as I usually do, you have some anxieties you should let go of today.

Sufficient to Each Day

by Theodore Cuyler

"As your days--so shall your strength be."
Deuteronomy 33:25

Sufficient to each day are the duties
to be done--and the trials to be endured.

God never built a Christian strong enough to
carry today's duties and tomorrow's anxieties
piled on top of them.

"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow
will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is
enough for today." Matthew 25:34

Top 20!

2009-08-06T00:12:00.013-05:00

Happy 20th Honey!

Can you believe it? We've been married TWENTY years! So, in honor of this momentous occasion, I thought I'd countdown the top 20 reasons I'm glad I'm married to my honey.

20. He knows I'm an abstract random and that these are not necessarily in any discernible order--but he loves me anyway!

19. Confessions: I was late for our own wedding! (Only 5 minutes or so. Hey, we were taking pictures with our 2 & 3 yo nieces, they were so cute! That was a worthy cause, right? Plus, brides don't wear watches, do they?) The poor groomsmen were all up front waiting for us ladies because the organist (who had a crush on the best man) started playing. I think she made it through Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring 3 times. (Sorry, honey!) Well, I'm still no good with time. But he loves me anyway!

18. The Lord knew I needed someone to help me plan ahead. Take the other day--Zach and I were going to the store to buy curtains for his room. We got halfway there and I said, "What size curtains do you need?" (he didn't know either!) "See, if your dad was taking you on this trip, he'd have measured!" (By the way, we never did make it home with curtains...)

17. Speaking of not making it home with what we set out for...I remember when we were first married and looking for couches--that time we came home with a roll-top desk that we both fell in love with. Then a month or so later we went into Walmart for hairspray (for these frilly, palm-frond decorations we bought for our couch-less livingroom)...and came out with couches! Yeah, freak occurence, Walmart somehow had a load of couches filling their aisles. Thanks for the spontaneous times, honey!

16. Oh, spontaneous reminds me of surprises--there was the time we worked a week at Camp Wonderland leading the Winter Camp, and then we were going to stay for another day afterward... Poor Dave thought it was going to be a quiet, intimate time with just the two of us. In a huge cabin that had rooms for like 20 people. (This one has a fireplace, honey, that's why they moved us here, honest!) Unbeknownst to him I had planned a surprise happy graduation party, as he was nearing the end of seminary. Friends started showing up one by one, and by the third or fourth person he "got it" that these were not coincidences and they were not leaving! (In his defense, reunions at camp are pretty normal, and he was very tired.) I think I owe you a night with a fireplace, Hon! But he loves me anyway!

15. A night in front of a fire--reminds me of camping on Washington Island, making pudgy pies, and going to People's Park up on the cliff and watching the sunset over Lake Michigan. The picture at the top of our blog is from People's Park. I can still hear the waves crashing against the rocks below, the peace we felt together there, "North of the Tension Line."

14. Speaking of tension, Dear, thanks for all the times you supplied me with maps and directions complete with exit numbers and landmarks. (See, I like to just "drive and then I get there." He's the practical one!) One time I drove to a wedding in Toledo that way--the tension was not mine, it was Dave's and he couldn't come along--I really didn't know where I was going, but along the way I met some friends at an oasis who were also going to the wedding, and I followed them! Yep, he loves me anyway...

13. Another tension-reliever: I think I have a bone to pick with you! Picking on my gullible nature! One time Dave told me about a weather-predicting toaster--it could dial up the internet and print an image on the toast depending on the forecast. Yep, I'm so gullible I'll believe anything! Not this time, I wasn't buying this one. Funny thing was, it really was a true invention! Laughter has been a true gift for both of us.

12. Number 12 goes to the 12-year-old! Our son Zachary, a very special gift to us. And even though he chases me around the house with a dart gun sometimes, he's made our lives richer. Thanks for our son, Honey.

(No, I don't know where Zach gets it from...)

11. Dave's a great father. He spends one on one time with our kids, teaches them respect and practical life skills and gives all of himself that he can to them. I'm glad to walk this parenting journey with you, Dave.

10. Have to dedicate this one to Princess Anna, our 10 yo daughter. She too is a wonderful gift. Our children have been a joy to know and raise and homeschool.

9. Speaking of homeschooling--Dave is my biggest cheerleader, encourager, and supporter. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing, and he reminds me why we are on this path and not to lose heart.

8. Dave has taught me such important truths as the Fact-Faith-Feeling Train (and not to get the cars mixed up), and "the answer is always no unless you ask," (so don't "say no" for people if you need something--ask and let them have the opportunity to say no.)

7. For years of ministry together and the laughs--I remember the student from one youth group who said they could lock Dave and I in a room with nothing in it, and we'd still find a way to have fun. From Colorado to South Carolina--it's been quite a journey, Hon!

6. Dave is our "hunter-gatherer" we like to joke, but he does all of our grocery shopping. He may have to do it only a few items at a time, but he's a diligent and wonderful supplier. (It's a good thing, I'd just forget we need food until I was hungry anyway!)

5. My closest friend. The one who used to pluck my gray hairs for me (and thankfully no longer does, I'd be bald!)

4. The one who has taught me that sometimes the antidote to depression is to find someone to serve.

3. The man I respect and admire because of his honesty, character, and love for the Lord

2. The romantic who swept me off my feet when he gave me my first kiss and said, "That's a touch with a promise, a promise I intend to keep."

1. Because I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend my life with. Happy Anniversary, My Love!

Need to save a couple hundred $?

2009-05-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

On Mother's Day, Dave informed our dear little cherubs that their mother is priceless...and that they'd be getting the bill soon, LOL!

The kids tried to guess how much it would be & one of them said, "1.1 million dollars?" I said that sounded pretty good (Dave said it wasn't enough!).

Then when we were cleaning up, my sooo sweet son asked, "Can I help clean anything else?"

"Oh thank you honey, that was so sweet of you to ask..." I said, to which he replied,

"That ought to be worth a couple hundred off!"

LOL!

Oh my...

Merry :-)

Grace in our Time of Need Part 6 (conclusion): God Hears

2009-05-13T13:22:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, during an advent service at church, I remember feeling so alone. The first unity candle, signaling our hope in Christ, was lit by a young couple and their two year-old daughter, her pigtails bobbing with each step. As I sat in my pew alone, I remembered when we were them, healthy and strong, ready to face the world, excited to be serving the Lord—and the tears started to flow. I have no hope today, God, I silently confessed.Our Sunday School class was struggling with questions I knew Dave could answer, if only God would release him to the service he loved. Instead Dave was home, left with no answer to the unthinkable question: Will I need to be taken care of for the rest of my life?

I know the question comes with the depression and anxiety of having a chronic illness. But that doesn't erase the pain of the question, or the agony of not knowing. There is a truth in there that Jesus understood. Remember in the Bible when Lazarus died, Jesus wept. He felt deeply the pain that Mary and Martha felt. It didn't matter that He knew He could bring Lazarus back to life—understanding didn't erase the pain of the moment. He called out to God, and God heard—and answered—and Lazarus was brought back to life.

And isn't that what we all long for, the God who answers with His power and love? Then we know our prayers have been heard.But God doesn't answer simply yes—or no or wait awhile. When Jesus cried out to God the night before His death, "take this cup from me,” Hebrews 5:7-9 says He was heard. The passage reads, “During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him…”

God heard—but He didn’t remove the cup.

And God answered powerfully and with love as He strengthened Jesus' resolve to say "not my will, but yours be done." We do not have a benign paternal God who looks down from on High with occasional sympathy. We have Emmanuel: God with us. The God whose Holy Spirit has chosen to dwell IN us. Do we stop to think what this means? The God who lived through intense anguish in His life on earth, continues to choose to live through it along with us. He doesn't merely see our pain; He says that "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." (Mt 25:40). He is hungry, thirsty, a stranger, naked, sick, and in prison, along with us. When He says "never will I leave you, never will I forsake you," He means to impart a depth of love and grace that if we truly understood it, would take our breath away.

What you and I live through, often involuntarily, God has chosen to live through with us, intimately, daily, weeping with us.Why He would choose pain rather than immediately use His power to "fix" everything, I don't know—but I have a glimpse of some possibilities. I think Jesus knows that power doesn't erase pain—He wept when Lazarus died, even though he then went on to raise him from the dead. When someone lives through something with us—really cares—they can comfort in a way someone more distant can't. On a deeper level I sense, as strange as this may sound, that God thinks we are worth the pain He goes through with us—and that the prize He is seeking is us, is relationship with us.

Would we understand what Jesus was willing to go through to woo us if we didn’t experience some of our own suffering? Could we truly know the love He has for us?

In us, and walking with us, God is making possible a relationship that will fulfill us so much that we will look back and think the pain was worth it, was miniscule in comparison. We can't see that now, but one day we will. Pour your heart out to God. Grief and depression can't be rushed—and they are not without purpose. God is a redeemer, and He will redeem this time, and restore your soul. Cling to Him. Habakkuk 3:17-19 says, “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.”

The very sovereignty that allows our hard circumstances is the same sovereignty that protects us.

Finding our refuge in God means knowing He is good when life is not. He is sovereign when life seems out of control. He is loving when we feel alone or abandoned. His grace is sufficient for us and what we need will be there, even if what we want or think we need is not there. Seek first the Kingdom of God. Know that He hears when He appears silent, when it seems He is paying no attention. Know He answers—and He is near. He will give us grace in our time of need.

Grace in our Time of Need Part 5: God's Protection

2009-05-10T13:16:00.006-05:00

We have lost part of the protection of God in our world (after the "Fall" of Adam and Eve), and we live with the result—a world plagued with horror and disease and the atrocities of what one man does to another. Some people consider these things to be evidence that there is no God. However, I think Thomas Merton’s view is closer to the truth, he wrote:

“It is only the infinite mercy and love of God that has prevented us from tearing ourselves to pieces and destroying His entire creation long ago. People seem to think that it is in some way a proof that no merciful God exists, if we have so many wars. On the contrary, consider how in spite of centuries of sin and greed and lust and cruelty and hatred and avarice and oppression and injustice, spawned and bred by the free wills of men, the human race can still recover, each time, and can still produce men and women who overcome evil with good, hatred with love, greed with charity, lust and cruelty with sanctity. How could all this be possible without the merciful love of God, pouring out His grace upon us?” —A Thomas Merton Reader, pg. 40

If God has not extended to you the grace you wanted, the miracle healing, the return of a prodigal child, the freedom from wondering how you will make it until the next paycheck, the restoration of a marriage in trouble, relief from depression or anxiety, or maybe a past hurt such as abuse—if God has not extended you this grace, I humbly submit He has extended you another grace that is just as powerful and amazing. How could our faith remain, even thrive, if not for the grace of God? I think I would have crumbled long ago.

God has protected man throughout the ages by always ensuring there is a remnant who follows Him. We have no way of knowing how many things God really does spare us from, in His mercy. He lets us see the full extent of sin, how awful it is to live without God—and I believe it is in the hope that we will turn to Him, realize He is our only protection and hope. His desire is that we will allow Him to draw us near, to shelter us in His wings, to receive His love.

“Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”
—Ps 63:7-8

***

What are God’s intentions towards me?

… to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. —Isaiah 61:1-3

Jesus’ Call…

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls… —Matthew 11:28-29

Our Response to God…

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. —Habakkuk 3:17-19

Next time Part 6 (the conclusion): God Hears

And the winner is....

2009-05-06T11:55:00.003-05:00

Teacherpippi who loved the pups in a cup! Congratulations! Thank you to all who participated. And a big thankyou to Marie Rippel for sponsoring this giveaway, thanks Marie!

Merry :-)

My daughter made me cry today

2009-05-02T18:15:00.002-05:00

She & dh went out to get me a rose, and she sang a song she made up:

There is no one richer than me, richer than me, richer than me. There is no one richer than me, because I have a mom who reads to me.

There is no one richer than me, richer than me, richer than me. There is no one richer than me, because I have a mom who teaches me.

There is no one richer than me, richer than me, richer than me. There is no one richer than me, because I have a mom who loves me.

(She got the idea from a poem we read the other day, "The Reading Mother" by Strickland W. Gillilan--in the Glorya Hale collection, An Illustrated Treasury of Read-Aloud Poems for Young People. Such a great poetry book!)

"The Reading Mother"

I had a mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea.
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth;
"Blackbirds" stowed in the hold beneath.

I had a Mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.

I had a Mother who read me tales
Of Gelert the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness lent with his final breath.

I had a Mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings-
Stories that stir with an upward touch.
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be --
I had a Mother who read to me.

by Strickland W. Gillilan

Keep reading to your kids :-)

Merry :-)

Happy Spring! Chocolate & Beehive Reader Giveaway!

2009-04-27T08:00:00.008-05:00

UPDATE: Congratulations to the winner, Teacherpippi!

Just a short break from my Grace in Our Time of Need series for something a little lighter... (I've never had a giveaway before!)

So, do you like chocolate?

Do you like adorable characters in your children's early readers?

Marie Rippel, the author of All About Spelling has published her new Beehive Reader 1 with gorgeous illustrations by artists Dave LaTulippe and Donna Goeddaeus. The reader is SO cute! (Even my 12 yo son thinks kids and parents will enjoy it--he asked if he could read it while he was waiting to use the computer. About page 70 he said, "This is really nice, parents are really going to like this for their kids. It's a good book to snuggle with. And it's a lot better than what I had to learn to read with!")

(Cobweb the Cat thinks so too).

So, what does this have to do with chocolate?

One of the illustrators (Donna Goeddaeus) is a chocolatier. She does all the artwork for her chocolates (and if you like horses, you'll want to check out her site!).

Anyway...Marie has donated a Beehive Reader 1 AND the above-pictured box of chocolates as a giveaway! These chocolates are hand made with rich, creamy European Chocolate. And the little bunny you see in the center is solid hand molded milk chocolate.

Here's a close-up of the picture on the lid:

To enter, click on the link for the Beehive Reader 1, check out the sample stories, and pick a favorite character. Then post in the comments section here. Everyone who votes will be entered in a random drawing for a half-pound box of Donna's Happy Spring Chocolate collection and a Beehive Reader 1. Comments must be posted by Monday, May 4th, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, May 5th. Have fun :-).

Merry :-)

Grace in Our Time of Need Part 4: Lies and Truth

2009-04-25T18:13:00.002-05:00

Several years ago I was going through a period of depression, and I went to a Christian Counselor. The first thing he asked me to do when I went home was to write down all of my negative thoughts. Yeah, that sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Ha! My first thought was, “I don’t have any.” Then, when I started hearing them, I didn’t want to share them! But as I did, the counselor began to show me truth—what God’s word says, and how my negative thoughts were really lies.

I started keeping a “Lies and Truth” chart, and wow, was that transforming in my life! When you start identifying the thoughts, and asking God to show you what the lies are, and then what the truth is, and you write it down, it becomes a powerful tool for healing.

Here is a list of some of the lies we say to ourselves—maybe without even realizing that we are filling our mind with lies, and the truth of how God sees us, the truth in His word, the truth of His grace.

Lie: God is distant, He doesn’t care about me.
Truth: "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." — Zephaniah 3:17

Truth: "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart…" — Isaiah 40:11

Lie: I am worthless to God. He despises me.
Truth: "Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers." — Hebrews 2:11

(That one still startles me in amazement--God as Father has almost become cliche--but Jesus as brother--meditate and absorb the depth of that thought).

Truth: "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. —Luke 12:32

Lie: God is mad at me.
Truth: "…We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." —Romans 5:1-2

Lie: God abandons us when we’re hurting.
Truth: "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." —Psalm 34:18

Truth: "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge." —Psalm 18:2

Truth: "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." —Psalm 119:50

Lie: God can’t still love me.
Truth: "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord who has compassion on you." —Isaiah 54:10

Lie: I can never change, I don’t measure up.
Truth: "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with everincreasing glory."
—2 Corinthians 3:18

Truth: "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." —Lamentations 3:22-23

(That last one was written by the Prophet Jeremiah when the Israelites had been taken captive by the Babylonians.)

You might also want to see a copy of the “Identity in Christ” chart compiled by my husband and from Neil Anderson's Victory Over the Darkness.

When we want God to change our circumstances, I think it’s tempting to shrug off what God is offering, His Presence, a spiritual stronghold, a refuge for our souls from the assault of lies that tell us we must be unworthy or God would answer. And yet...Jesus, our brother, was not unworthy when He suffered. Maybe today, God wants you to know that even though you don’t understand why He doesn’t answer as you want, you are His worthy child, the one He cares for deeply as He seeks your trust in a difficult trial.

Next time: Part 5, God’s Protection

Grace in Our Time of Need Part 3: Can I still be your God?

2009-04-17T23:30:00.001-05:00

Ken Gire, in his book The North Face of God, tells the story of a young man, we’ll call him Jim, who loved the Lord and wanted to serve as a pastor—and he longed to be a father. Jim was close to his own father, and dreamed of having a son he could share his life with.

He became a youth pastor, and got married, but his wife had a heart defect and they were told that she could never have children. So they decided to adopt. One day the call came that a 4-day old baby was waiting at the hospital, ready to be theirs: Their long-awaited son.

They brought him home, and were full of dreams for this little one—but they soon realized something was wrong. The baby hated to be held and would stiffen up all over. As the boy grew, they learned he had a number of learning disabilities and psychiatric problems. They took him for many assessments and tried to find help for him. When he was 10 or 11, they were told that by the time he was 18, he’d be dead or behind bars.

They refused to believe it, and tried a private school, and then homeschooling. Sure enough, he got mixed up in drugs and ended up in jail.

Jim had a friend who also had a son in trouble, and they talked often. Exciting things were happening at his friend’s church—God’s hand was moving, and people were coming to know Christ—and finally even his friend’s son was turning back to God. But nothing changed for Jim. And he told his friend he couldn’t stand to hear one more miracle of Jesus story. It was too painful.

Some people might have abandoned Jim at this point, but not his friend. They continued to meet and talk over the years. And one year a group of people from their church decided to meet with the man and pray with him, and they prayed together every week for a year and a half. They became the man’s lifeline.

Jim did a 40 day fast and sought the Lord in every way he knew how, but his only answer was silence.

One day he decided to go to the prayer room at church and stay there until he heard from God. Jim was broken and at the very end of his rope, he was desperate. He waited for 5 hours, and then he finally heard God speak. And this is what God said:

“Can I still be your God if I never heal your son? If I never speak to you the way you want Me to?”

“Yes,” the man replied.

Do you think Jim’s faith brings less joy to God than the faith of his friend whose son turned back to God? Do you think Jim is less worthy of God’s love and grace than his friend? Yet how often do we reject God’s grace in our lives by our negative, self-degrading thoughts?

I’m not worthy. I’ve messed up too many times.

God must not really love me, or He would change this circumstance in my life.

I’m not important to God or He would answer.

I think of the words Jim heard—“Can I still be your God?” what vulnerability—what love God communicated in that simple question. These were not the words of a vengeful, unfeeling God. God saw the man’s pain. God knew he asked much of the man to endure such pain.

If you are doing your best to love and follow God, and you wish you could more and more—can you believe God is pleased with you? He takes joy in your effort, your heart’s desire.

Romans 12:1 says, “I urge you, brothers, sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-- this is your spiritual act of worship.”

When we go through pain in our lives, it doesn’t have to be meaningless. We can turn it around and say, “God, I don’t know why I need to go through this, but I ask You to somehow be glorified in this.” We can remember that Christ thought we were worthy of His suffering, when we go through our dark nights and struggle to remember that He is worthy of our suffering.

Next time Part 4: Lies and Truth

Grace in our Time of Need, Part 2: God’s Silence

2009-04-11T13:10:00.003-05:00

My husband Dave and I moved here 11 years ago. Dave was the children’s pastor at our church for 2 years before he had to go on medical leave. At the time he left, he had a myriad of symptoms but no diagnosis. A few months later we finally learned that Dave has Chronic Lyme Disease, and that he probably went undiagnosed for 15 years. That is how far back we can trace his symptoms.

Lyme Disease, when it is treated right away, is usually curable. But when left untreated or when it’s undertreated, it can wreak havoc on any, and sometimes nearly every organ and system in the body. Dave has had incredible pain in every joint in his body, and horrendous headaches. The neurological problems are the most disabling.

Near the end of his time at church, he would have conversations with people but couldn’t remember what they talked about. He would keep lists of what to do and lose his lists. After he left and the illness progressed, he would get lost in familiar places—one time he got lost between our house and the Subway restaurant which is 3 blocks away.

He will sometimes feel good enough to go get a paper or go to a store, and will see someone there. They look familiar but he can’t always remember a name and sometimes doesn’t remember if he’s supposed to know them. To him this is so discouraging. His job was to love people, his passion was to love people, and Lyme has stripped away his ability to do that.

Sometimes he will try to walk and his leg won’t move, or he’ll have tremors in his arms and legs. Other days he can walk in a store and even pick up groceries. Some days he can read, and other days the words dance around on the page and don’t make sense. There are times when he’ll forget he’s on medical leave and ask me if he has a meeting to go to. He lives forever with the feeling that he’s forgetting to do something, because the Lyme affects how the neurons in the brain communicate with each other. Some days he will think and speak fairly clearly, and others he will stutter and his speech will be slow. He’s very sensitive to sound, smell, motion, and light. We keep the shades drawn most of the time and use no overhead lights.

I remember one day Dave was sleeping and our daughter Anna, who was 2.5 at the time, looked at me as she reached for the light switch, and I told her she could turn the light on. It struck me then that we live much of our lives in semi-darkness.

The kids and I typically have to change clothes and bathe after church and other outings because the smell of perfume makes Dave pass out.

You never know what to expect with Lyme. I think that is one of the hardest parts of dealing with the illness; every day is different and you can’t plan on anything. I’ve seen Dave improve and slip back so many times that I know judging his symptoms does not give us solid ground to rely on. Sometimes he’ll ask, “Why is my body doing this?” and the answer of Lyme seems empty and hollow.

I cannot even begin to explain what it has been like to lose my soul mate. The intimacy we once had is gone as he is not able to sustain the same level of conversation, the memories, or the depth we once enjoyed with one another. We get glimpses—and oh, I love the glimpses! We share when we can, but then the moment melts away. A simple conversation is exhausting to him and often will end with him needing to lie down.

He has made some improvements since beginning treatment. He has been able to go to our small group, and last fall he was able to teach for a time. This winter he was struggling to read again. So we take the good with the bad on this roller-coaster of life we live!

Our children are 10 and 12 now. They recognize his symptoms, and encourage him to rest or take his medicine. One minute he is the father, taking care of them—the next they are trying to take care of him.

I remember the first year Dave was diagnosed, and we felt so hopeless. Years of searching led to answers that weren’t really answers at all. And I often prayed, “God, heal him, bring him back to me—or take him home to be with You, but don’t leave him this way.” I prayed that for months, until I felt like I was banging my head on the brick wall of God’s silence.

Exasperated, I remember going to God and saying, “You have to do something!” But there was no answer. And then, when I realized that God wasn’t taking either of the alternatives I had offered Him (go ahead, laugh!), I asked, “God, what are your intentions towards Dave?”

And I heard God’s answer, clearly, almost audibly, “Merry, what are your intentions? What will you do if nothing changes?”

My intention was then, and remains today, to be faithful to my husband and my God. The grace of God brought me into this place of faith.

What are your intentions?

Next time, Part 3: Can I still be your God?

Grace in Our Time of Need, Part 1: God's Joy

2009-04-09T22:59:00.005-05:00

It’s been awhile since I told our story or gave an update. A couple of weeks ago I gave a talk for a women’s retreat, and several people have asked to see it, so I’m going to do a series of posts over the next week or two. I guess you could call this my personal testimony of God’s grace to us in a life-changing circumstance that I never would have asked for!

But first I thought I’d tell a cute story about grace. One day when my kids were about 5 & 7, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I had a headache, I didn’t want to face the day, I was a total grump. I had been teaching my kids about grace and how we can help each other, and this particular morning I let my kids know that I just didn’t feel good and didn’t have energy for anything. I sent them to do some chores while I was working upstairs. I came across them 5 or 10 minutes later, both doing extra work, each having independently decided that *Mom* needed some grace that day. And they were right--*I* was the one having trouble meeting the standard! Their grace to me gave me such a huge boost that I had extra energy all of a sudden, put some of their clothes away and cleaned out their dressers for them.

God’s grace is amazing. It changes us—Titus 2:12, one of my favorite verses says that grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly pleasures. Grace is contagious—when we share it with others, they want to share it too. And grace is what brings us through the hard times, isn’t it? When we just don’t think we can deal with anything more, God somehow gives us His strength to continue on.

Most of us probably have some hurt, some painful trial, present or past. You may feel trapped, like you have no choices—you may be suffering under a burden of false guilt or other negative thoughts—or you may feel that no one is watching out for your needs. In Hebrews 4:16, God tells us to “approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Let’s pray.
“God, we thank you and praise you that you are with us. May we see you today. Fill us with the joy of your presence. Give us a desire, a longing to seek you more and more in every way, to cry out to you, and know that you are the best and only thing we have. Our rock, our strength, our security, our hope, our stronghold. Teach us, Lord, to be honest with you, to submit to you and to allow your grace to transform our hearts. In the name of our precious Lord Jesus, who for the joy set before Him shed His blood. Amen.”

Isn’t that amazing? Do you ever think about what God’s joy was, what made Him willing to die on the cross? It’s a relationship with us, that’s His joy.

Take a few moments this morning to bask in the sunshine of God’s joy—to calm your mind and soul, put aside the busy-ness of life for a few minutes, and remember He takes joy in you. Next time, Part 2: God’s Silence

Do you have hope?

2009-01-29T14:34:00.003-06:00

If you're feeling like you just might not have the strength to make it through this time--if you just can't keep going, can't get up again--well, you've got to see this amazing video. Nick Vujicic will encourage you.

Today my husband Dave told me that he thinks often about the little boy from John 6:9. He had so little to give--five small barley loaves, and two little fish. What if he had just thought it wasn't worth giving? What if he thought Jesus couldn't possibly use what he had to give? I mean really, feed 5,000 people? But what he had, he gave, and trusted the Lord to multiply. And so we need to give, we can't think it's too little or that God can't use it. We have to give--even if it's our lunch and we might go hungry--if we want to see what God can do.

Dave, this video is especially for you. Sometimes you are him, continuing to get back up, and you amaze me. Sometimes you might need to be encouraged by him--might feel like you can't get up again. Thank you for inspiring me, and letting me inspire you.

Merry :-)

So am I the last one?

2009-01-03T15:49:00.002-06:00

The last time I went shopping for new jeans was possibly last century. I bought used the last time I needed any, and I think I was given some before that, and before that I have no idea! Well, my jeans had holes, so it was time to hit the store.

So I went out to Stuff-Mart (Christmas gift card!), ready to spend half an hour looking at the denim delectables. Three hours later, I think I tried on every pair of jeans in the store to figure out what fit. I was hoping to find some that were "hip," as I know it's no longer in fashion for them to come to your waist. Little did I know I'd have no choice; they really don't make ones that come to your waist anymore anyway. I think there was one pair that did! That's when I began to wonder if I might be the last woman in America with spleen-high jeans.

All the other types were a range of hip-huggers, some so low I knew I'd need fancier undies, some more tolerably "mid-rise." Then I had to wade through flares, boot cut, straight legs & tapered, and then all the colors--did I want black jeans, dark blue, medium blue, light blue, faded in parts, faded all over, stone-washed, with detailing or without, with rips or without (that one was easy, I already had the with-rips set)... All I wanted was a pair of BLUE JEANS!

Some advertised "new technology" in the form of various tummy restraining or tummy "smoothing" (whatever that is) "panels." Are we talking control-top jeans here? I did have to laugh that the size 8's had this too. I'm a size 8 in my dreams :).

I told the Fitting Room Attendant around 10 pm that I hoped I was finally done after trying on a boatload of jeans and a barrel of shirts. Mistake. On my way out I saw a couple of shirts I loved, but by that time I was too tired to try them on, so I just brought them home. I wasn't sure they were the right size, so I went back this morning at 8:30 to try on a smaller size. I joked to myself that she might be there again, but the coast was clear when I went into the fitting room. To my chagrin when I came out, there she was! It was like seeing a ghost! I ran!

Well, I did find 2 pairs of jeans that will work, and I'm set until the next decade. (Kinda scared to know what they'll come out with next!). The ones I bought are comfy and only have one little problem. That 2" or so space on my back that is used to another layer of clothing is cold now! Do they sell waist-warmers?

Merry :-)

My Husband, the Archaeologist!

2008-12-25T21:41:00.004-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone! (is anyone still reading?!)

I've gotta brag on my dear husband a bit. I had on my Christmas wish list a CD of a tape that we have. The 97 Promise Keeper's tape, The Making of a Godly Man--I loved it & played it over & over in our van. But the van died last summer & of course they don't put tape-players in vehicles these days! I've missed that tape so much.

Dave really wanted to shop locally, but you have to understand our local Christian bookstore. The owner had a system that only she understood. Stacks upon stacks of books everywhere, some on shelves, some on the floor...with just enough room to squeeze past. When you go there, you have to want to dig...or to ask for what you want and hope someone knows where it is. But the owner is now in a nursing home, and her family is left trying to run it or sell it--and there is a back room plus 3 more stories of stacks and boxes from the last few decades.

Now you know why I called him an archaeologist. He went there several days, digging through many boxes of CD's (without even knowing if they might have the one I wanted). Some boxes would start out in alphabetical order and then the order would stop suddenly. The new owners found a place to set up a chair for him and brought box after box...and then he found it!

What a wonderful Christmas present. I don't know what I love more--his persistence and sacrifice of time and energy (and energy is a premium), or the fact that he has this ability this year. I told the kids last week how much we have to thank God for because Daddy is doing so much better than he was a year ago. And this--well, this touched my heart more than any gift I can think of.

Merry Christmas, Everyone! May we all value the life we have, and cherish the friends and family in our lives. In Christ, Merry :-)

Spelling Progress! All About Spelling Review

2008-09-05T22:55:00.001-05:00

I have to share about a favorite curriculum!

We've tried several spelling programs here (including making up my own, which I found to be a very involved task!). But never found one we really loved or that "worked" for us. Then last Spring I stumbled across All About Spelling; it was everything I had wanted to create on my own and more.

My son (11) says that it's the most effective curriculum we've used. "It starts out basic and really makes you think about how words are spelled. Then it helps you to know how to spell tricky words. I like writing the words on the white board. It's fun because I like to see what I know and I like the trivia questions! (review cards). I like the time that I get to spend with Mom."

(No, I didn't pay him to say that last part, isn't he sweet?!) I agree that it's effective; every week I am noticing more words that my kids are spelling correctly in their writing that they didn't know how to spell before.

So, here is my All About Spelling review:

The things I like:

The letter tiles--these are similar to what we used in Reading Reflex, only these are laminated and color-coordinated. We use the magnets too and put them on a magnetic white board--this makes the program so user-friendly!

Not sure if you can read what Zach spelled on the board: I'm done with my book! We were both so proud!

The book is open and go, the lessons are all laid out. We work for about 15 minutes & then pick up there again the next day. I spent one day getting ready to teach it by punching out the perforated cards & just glancing at the book. Otherwise there is really no prep time.

Each new step begins with reviewing rules and words that still need reinforcing, then learning some new concepts and building words with the tiles. Later the kids can write words on a white board or on paper (or they can use more tactile methods). I really like that there are phrases and dictation sentences to write too--so the kids don't just memorize a list and then forget it, they have to think how to write words in a sentence. I think this is one reason that what my kids are learning is "sticking."

We can go as quickly or as slowly as we need to through each lesson, so my kids learn at their own pace. Some lessons (called "steps") have taken us 2 days, some have taken a week or so.

Here's Anna after finishing another lesson, with her progress chart. Obviously she loves "sticker day," LOL!

Review is built in so it won't be forgotten, and my kids retain what they are learning. It's completely customizeable--the rules and words are on cards that you keep in a card file, and when your kids have them mastered, you move the cards out of the review section.

Zach and his progress chart, done with Level 2!

It's based on the Orton Gillingham phonics research, and it only teaches rules that really hold true (no rules like "when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking," which is only true about 40% of the time.) AAS also used the same research that another favorite book of mine--The ABC's and All Their Tricks--used.

It uses visual, auditory, and kinesthetic processes. Works for kids with dyslexia, auditory processing struggles (which we have dealt with) and other issues too.

AAS has a money back guarantee (that tipped the scales for me to try it! And they take paypal too, another plus).

There is a great Resource Center on the site with articles and videos for further help.

There is a jail for words that don't follow the rules!

We added magnets to the "jail" so we could put that on our board too! BTW, the board is 2' X 3' if you're wondering--the angle of this picture may make it look bigger.

AAS is easy to use and to understand. I only wish I had found it several years ago! I really can't think of much I'd change about it, and I've found that the author is very accessible and helpful. It might not be the program for everyone, but if you're looking for a better spelling program, check it out. I decided to become an affiliate because it's helped us so much. If I can answer any questions I'd be glad to. (I've been talking up AAS since before I knew they had an affiliate program because it made my kids enjoy and understand spelling. We're midway through book 2 and will start book 3 later this year.).

God bless, Merry :-)

1/6/09--I thought I'd add an update to this post, and some pictures! My kids still enjoy this, and their writing has improved so much. They can spell more words and if they do make a mistake, usually the mistake makes phonetic sense--no more simply "decorating with vowels" or adding extra letters because the word might need more!

They have a lot more confidence now and both have told me that reading is more fun too. I think AAS has helped with word-attack skills for bigger words, as well as helping with their speed. Zach actually read a huge Indiana Jones novel (with all four books in it). Back in September he told me that the first chapter in one of the books didn't make sense and didn't belong. After discussing how that couldn't be true, he put the book up for awhile and re-read it in November--and told me that now he could read it all and that it DID make sense! Zach is now in Level 3, and Anna is nearing the end of Level 2.

Why do some prayers go unanswered?

2008-08-26T21:18:00.002-05:00

I read this question online recently...and oh, how many times I've asked myself the same question.

I wrote on Unanswered Prayers in my newsletter.

Other newsletters I've written that speak to this topic:
Be Stumped
Praying with Perseverance
From Despair to Hope and Rest
The Miracle

There is no short answer to this question. There are some answers...and lots of mystery. There's a whole chapter full of people who did not receive what was promised to them (Hebrews 11). I think on that frequently...as well as the encouragement to pray and not give up, from Luke. When I don't know all the "why's," I meditate on what I do know--the truth of God's character. Circumstances will lie to us about who God is--they don't tell the whole story. So I go back to the Word. Psalms is full of heartache, longing for God's answers...and looking to God's character.

Ps. 13 is a favorite of mine because it expresses the torment so eloquently, and also what I want my mind and eyes to focus on as I wait for the Lord.

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

God bless, Merry

Want to see our "School Room?"

2008-08-22T22:41:00.009-05:00

(The correct answer is yes after all the time we spent rearranging, plus finally--after 10 years! getting rid of the old blinds that came with the house & putting up curtains, and also cleaning out all the things that get "lost" under furniture, LOL! I sure sneezed a lot that first day!)

This room doubles as a family room/sitting room, and features our 18 year-old couches! (We found them one day when we went to Walmart for hairspray. Of course, I don't use hairspray, too allergic then & now so is Dave! but it was for an art project. Anyway, go in for hair spray, come out with couches, that's about how my life goes!). They've made it through 5 moves so far, LOL!

Here's what you see when you first come downstairs into this room:

You can see our magnet whiteboard with the All About Spelling tiles peeking out from behind the couch. Sometimes the kids do projects on the table. They used it a lot when they were smaller, it was just their size, LOL!

Looking to the left:

That's my grandpa's fiddle music on the piano stand there, I love it! But I need to find a way to restore it, the pages are all falling out, any ideas? I have some Reddi Roll that I could protect the cover with but I'm more concerned about all the inside pages falling apart.

Turning to the right:
Still need to go through the kids' art portfolios stashed between the book case and the hutch-turned-bookcase/school storage! On top of the bookcase you can see the candle setting from our wedding. We use that for "Tuesday Tea" when we read poetry & eat a snack. The top shelf (dubbed the "shelf of wonder" by Zac) houses our current year's books. We usually do our history and science and Bible reading in this room.

Now turn right again to look at the back of the room:
The kids like to write or eat breakfast here, and that's our buddy Lightning's cage down below (our hamster). The cowboy picture on the left is one Zac did several years ago in an art class. He was 7 I believe, and drew this while looking at a picture, then put black-colored glue on the lines & used oil pastels. That teacher was phenomenal at getting kids to draw!

I know, I need to update our family pictures, I do have a more recent one, I just haven't gotten it up yet--and how could I take down those sweet cherub faces anyway? Sigh. They do grow!

Thanks for visiting our school room! Merry :-)

I'll take that as a compliment

2008-08-20T23:10:00.001-05:00

Recently I was asked, "Where is your brother?" Meaning my 11 yo son Zach! How awesome is that?!!! I feel so young :-).

Ok, so I was actually asked, "Wa-yah yo bwudder?" by a 3 or 4 yo neighbor child, but hey, I'm stickin' to my story on this one! Merry :-)

That's just not right!

2008-08-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

We've been watching lots of Olympics, and tonight my son wanted help making popcorn. So Dave got up to help him, and Anna said, "While the men are baking, the women will watch TV!" On the way downstairs, Zach whispered to Dave, "That just doesn't sound right!" Dave called up, "It might take longer than normal, this one needs a lecture!" My sweet guys!

Merry :-)

Look what my BABY did at camp!?!?!?!

2008-08-02T01:18:00.002-05:00

Gee, I guess it really DOES pay to send those disposable cameras to camp with them. I just got the pics back today & amid the multitude of dark, grainy pictures, I found THIS:

Gives me the shivers, LOL!

I have TOUCHED a snake...but never CUDDLED one!!

Merry :-)

Sighted!

2008-07-23T21:44:00.000-05:00

On a church sign in our town:

"Live in such a way that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral."

Mini Office--Getting Ready for the School Year!

2008-07-16T11:43:00.025-05:00

Well, we've been getting ready for the new school year to start & made these "mini offices." (A mini-office is a specific application of lap-booking, where you put together information they will use throughout the school year for their work). They were a lot of fun! I had the kids fill in their multiplication chart, names of shapes, prime numbers, Roman numerals, names of states etc... It was my sneaky way of doing some summer school ("really, this is a craft...").

Here's Zac's cover...

Anna's cover:

(She says that's a "Rainbow Crystal Cave" on the front of her's.)

Inside when you first open it up--this side is Language Arts:

(the black strip in the middle there is a magnet. We hid magnets under the "COPS" on the left & the "run-away train" on the right & these hold the flaps closed. I saw something similar on another office online & the kids liked that idea, so we borrowed it!).

"COPS" is our acronym for editing--Capitalization, Organization (neatness etc...), Punctuation, and Spelling. Under that are "rule-breaker" words (We're using All About Spelling & they send rule-breakers to jail!) The right side shows sounds for OUGH, and the jobs of E.

On the middle panel, I remind them to "Spell with their ears (ie listen to the sounds/write the sounds) and Check with their eyes (did they choose the right phonogram for that word etc...)"

Each of the flaps for Short Vowel Sounds, Long Vowel Sounds, and Unique Sounds lifts up. For Short & Long Vowel sounds, I put only those that are used in more than 100 words where we can see them (greens are 501 or more, yellows are 101-500), and the "Rare" ones are under the flap (100 or less).

(Unique & R-controlled vowels are on top, types of syllables & a few common suffix rules underneath)

The whole middle page flips up too, here's the inside fully opened:

I had the kids label all the states, and then in the middle is a place for them to record spelling & capitalization & punctuation rules, plus samples of cursive letters, both caps and small letters.

The left flap has an additional tab that opens to show more "rule-breaker" words. The tab covers these up & has a place to put "this week's list" so they can study words that don't follow phonetic rules each week. I was going to make this a pocket on the flap, but then I saw that a dry-erase marker can write on & wipe off of the laminate, so we're going to try that instead.

This is the back:

I didn't take a pic of it fully opened, but all of the math concepts are on the back of the folder--so the items you saw on the cover picture show on the same side as the back when it's opened.

The kids had a lot of fun doing these & have thanked me about a zillion times, so I hope they'll be helpful this year! Both kids have already taken them to their own desks in their rooms, so I also hope they won't be lost before the school year starts, LOL!

My testimony

2008-07-07T08:00:00.001-05:00

Surely, O God, you have worn me out; you have devastated my entire household…My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart. —Job 17:11

My church asked for testimonies, and I refrained for awhile from writing mine. In many ways I wonder, what do I have to offer? What is my testimony? Eight years ago this June—after a 3-year battle to find answers for my husband’s headaches, confusion, chemical sensitivities, memory loss, joint pain, anxiety and depression—Dave had to leave his position as children’s pastor at our church. Eight years of praying for Dave’s healing—have our tears fallen on deaf ears?

“How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?” —Ps 13:1-2

The God who sees, who hears, who—dare I say cares?—has given no answer to our fervent pleas.

Why, O LORD, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?— Ps 10:1

Where is the healing that walked the earth 2000 years ago? Surely God isn’t dead? Isn’t impotent? Hasn’t turned a blind eye?

Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent. — Ps 22:1b-2

Every fiber of my being cries out with Psalm 13, How Long, O Lord? We live a lament. And I know we are not alone—so I write this for you who need to hear.

What is my testimony? After all this, eight years of Lyme Disease, of Dave unable to work, sometimes coherent, sometimes confused, pain, anger, anguish, despair, feelings of abandonment, rage and bitterness trying to force their way in and take over—after all this—I love the Lord. And that is a bigger miracle than the one we seek.

But for the Lord who gives us life and breath and everything else, who holds us in the very palm of His hand, who weeps when we weep—But for Christ who intercedes for us continuously—But for the Lord I would surely turn away in bitterness and frustration and lack of faith.

But for the Lord who envelopes us in love from practical to spiritual through many at our church—the men who have sought to befriend Dave and minister to him, the women who are my dear friends, the pay Dave received while waiting for disability to kick in that enabled us to keep our house and make it here, the many other gifts and remembrances—But for the Lord, I would not have blessings to count in the midst of this horror—the good days with Dave, our encouraging children, the comfort of home, the joy of seeing green after a long winter.

What is my testimony?

During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. —Heb 5:7

The One who could save Jesus from death heard His prayers yet did not spare Him…if we have the same response from God that Jesus did, all is still well.

“The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” — Job 1:21

What is my testimony? Nothing flashy. I’m a mom raising her kids with the husband I love, for better or for worse. My testimony is just the basics, the things I go back to when Satan fills me with worry and fear: God is good. God is sovereign. God loves me. He will never leave us nor forsake us. And we are safe in His hands—even when everything in our lives screams we are not.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. —Rom 8:38-39

In His Hands,
Merry Marinello

Sometimes the Night is Beautiful...

2008-07-04T00:26:00.002-05:00

Rich Mullins. Love this song. It takes me back to the days when Dave was a youth pastor & we were leading a mission trip. Sometimes it was so hot! And there was so much we wanted to do... but then it all ended for Dave.

We talked of Abraham and Sarah when we moved here, of what a true patriarch is, of going on a pilgrimage and not knowing where God was leading...

Tonight I saw the fireworks--we could almost touch the sky, Zac, Anna, and I.

I remember a fireworks long ago, before the kids, just Dave and I--it was the first time I ever saw fireworks to music, at the big racetrack in Arlington Heights. There were thousands there, and I had wondered why Dave wanted to drag me to such a crowd, until I heard the music in my bones and touched the sky with him, they were so close...and we were so real then. I cherish that he took me.

Sometimes the night is beautiful.

Merry

Annoying little sisters...

2008-06-19T18:49:00.009-05:00

Kids!

Hubby and I were laying down this evening (I wasn't feeling the best) and of course there was a ruckus in the livingroom. So I went to see what was going on, and found dd crying & ds lecturing.

Me: So what's going on here?

Zach: I admit it, it was my fault. Anna was calling me mommy over and over and it annoyed me so I hit her with a pillow & hurt her nose.

Me: [thinking hmmm, not quite as annoying as the perfume I used to spray my brother with, but still, a great way to get a brother's goat!] Anna, is that what happened?

Anna: He also hit me on the head with his hand. And I hit his hand.

Me: So...why were you calling your brother 'mommy?'

Anna: [pause] To annoy him.

At this point I burst out laughing, and eventually both kids started laughing too. My son, who has been trying very hard since his week at camp to not let little things annoy him, let out this huge sigh.

Zach: So THAT's why! Here I thought it was all my fault for getting annoyed, and that was the point!

Oh, I laughed all that much harder! Here the poor boy (who has grown spiritually leaps and bounds lately) thought he just wasn't doing a good enough job of keeping himself from getting annoyed, when she meant it all along!

We had a good talk on communicating what we're really feeling (dd was tired of watching the video & wanted to do something fun together), and how to respond (assume she's annoying him for a reason & ask if she wants some attention instead of hitting as a response).

Whew. Glad that's settled. For today anyway...

Merry (a recovered annoying little sister, but now a sometimes annoying wife and mother...) :-)

Going to school with the queen mother...

2008-06-02T10:00:00.003-05:00

Anna, the eternal princess has upped the ante now. Recently she has been seen turning in her assignments on one bended knee, bowing as one would before royalty. "Here you go, my queen!"
"Thank you my princess!"

Sigh. I know some day this stage will end. I hope it's not too soon!

Merry :-)

Fly to Jesus

2008-06-01T12:06:00.002-05:00

This is copied with permission from today's Grace Gems Newsletter www.gracegems.com

Fly to Jesus!
(Octavius Winslow, "My Times in God's Hand")

Believer, how precious is your soul to Him . . .
who bore all its sins,
who exhausted all its curse,
who travailed for it in ignominy and suffering, and
who ransomed it with His own most precious blood!

Oh! the unutterable blessings that flow from a vital union with the Lord Jesus!
All of your cares are His cares.
All of your sorrows are His sorrows.
All of your needs are His supply.
All of your sicknesses are His cure.

Believer, nothing can . . .
separate you from the love of Jesus,
nor sever you from His care,
nor exclude you from His sympathy,
nor banish you from His heaven of eternal blessedness!

Fly to Jesus in the confidence of a loving Friend.
Reveal to Him your secret sorrow.
Confess to Him your hidden sin.
Acknowledge your backsliding to Him.
Tell Him your needs, your sufferings, your fears.
Tell Him how chilled your affections to Him are.
Tell Him how reserved is your obedience.
Tell Him how imperfect is your service.

Tell Him how you long to . . .
love Him more ardently;
follow Him more closely;
serve Him more devotedly;
and to be more wholly and holily His.

Evaluations part 2--Rough years, goals, and Meta Cognition

2008-05-31T18:00:00.001-05:00

Lest anyone get the impression that all of our years are rosy (gee, I don't get to use the word "lest" very often!), we've had rougher evaluation times, and that's ok too. I think it really drew my kids and I closer together to evaluate each year, though we've only done orally in the past. They saw that I was willing to listen and take their thoughts and concerns into consideration.

Sometimes the changes suggested were not doable (No, sorry, we can't just not do math!), but then we were able to work through things and find something at least more palatable. As you can see, my son doesn't love math...but he no longer hates it! He no longer thinks we're using a curriculum that doesn't want children to understand math(he said that at age 6 about Miquon, LOL!). He's not asking to change curriculums--all he wants is for us to read instructions together (which is what I asked if he wanted at the beginning of the year and he said no--and so I've let him go at that).

But that's where trial & error, success & failure come in. I let him try his idea--and he sees now that he struggled with it, and realizes the advantages of doing it with mom. I often let my kids decide something if I can--how to do something or the order--this is their education & my dictating everything seems to stifle them. But in return, they are learning that mom knows some things, and sometimes it might be wise to follow what mom says.

And I am learning that sometimes they have some pretty great ideas, and hey, maybe we could do that. I'm so close to becoming stodgy some days it isn't funny! (ok, maybe a little funny!) They're willing to change things up. So...I go with it if I can. Finding out something won't work doesn't scare me--I think we all need the freedom to fail. And our kids will learn a lot from how we handle a failure, so nothing is wasted.

One thing I'm keeping in mind for next year. This year I went over just one main goal for my son--to make writing easier for him. (That's "kid-speak" for "let's learn how to write paragraph and multiple-paragraph papers this year," but he wouldn't have been interested in that!) He was able to remember that goal and go back and evaluate our year's LA based on that, how cool! So next year I think I might actually write down the goals (or have him write them), and let him be more a part of that process too.

For him to tell me which spelling he thinks will be more effective, and that he thinks he needs something else to memorize his science lessons, shows he's taking ownership of his education. That's what I want! To release my kids more and more to ownership. If homeschooling is something I do *to* my kids, I think we'll be in trouble by high school. This is their journey, and I'm a guide...but it's more and more becoming their journey.It also helps them...and me...learn about their styles, and better serve them as their teacher, and they better serve themselves as learners.

I learned a new term this spring...meta cognition. Basically--thinking about how we think. It's a skill that we can help our children develop that will foster a good education, and helps us focus on how to make things work. So, years ago when my son wanted to just dump math & I said we couldn't do that, but encouraged him that I would walk with him in this journey of finding a way to do math that would work for him--I was really asking him to analyze how he thinks, to begin to identify those things about himself and how he learns. We continue to build on that foundation. It's a good thing!

End-of-year evaluations...by my kids!

2008-05-30T17:54:00.003-05:00

On Thursday I had my kids do written evaluations of our school year. We've done discussions like this orally in years past, so they know I take their comments seriously. I asked them to write what they liked, what went well, what they didn't like or was hard, and what they would like to change for next year.

Their responses just tickled me pink! Especially because they put time and thought in them. Anna took 45 minutes! (Note, I did not have them edit for spelling, they might have caught some of these if I had, but oh well, they're cute!).

Anna wrote:

I think that handriting is my favorit subjet.

wy?
1- Becas it is sumtimes short.
2- it is Bible versis
3- it is cersiv

My 2end favorit is math.

wy?
1-it is sumtimes esy
2-it is fun
3-I can do it werever I want. (later she expounded orally, "in the livingroom, in my room, downstairs, in the screen porch, on the swings..." LOL, I guess she really has done math in a lot of places!)

My 3rd favorit is spellin (LOL, we're working on it!)

wy?
1-we get to do it as a famly
2-the magnit letters
3-the magnit wite bord.

And everything is the same (I asked what this meant--everything else she likes the same.)

I [great big huge heart] scool!

As we were talking, she said school is fun and I said "I think so too, you make it fun for me too." (she does, most of the time!) Then she said she'd been thinking about how hard I work to make it fun & that she wants to make a "teacher gift" to thank me. What a sweetie! She also had nothing to change.

***

Zac wrote:

Things that went well
Bible
History
Reeding
Speling
Langwige Arts
Guitar

Things that didn't go so well

Sience-I forget lessons sometimes

Handwriteing-Hard to understand.

Math-confousing lessons sometimes

[insert a detailed drawing of one of the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles here]

Math-Maybe reed instrucshens together and talk about what it meens. (Now that's funny--at the beginning of the year I offered to do that & he wanted to read them on his own! But good for him, he's thinking about how he learns!).

Handwriteing-help me understand reeding cursive

Sience-Make it easier to memorize lessons

As we talked later, he filled in some details--for science he wishes we had a 3-d model of the brain that he could take apart & put back together & memorize all of the parts (we're studying the body right now). But then we discussed what we'll be studying next year & how in 7th grade I'll split he & Anna for science & he'd be doing his own reading & writing for that--he was very excited about that. He actually said, "I figured this was just preparation for us and you would be splitting us up soon." Sometimes kids' thought processes just amaze me!

We also talked about getting more "gadgets" for him to take apart & make--things with motors or rubber-band powered (he said he could play with something rubber-band powered all day, LOL!). I asked about language arts and he said that now he likes writing! (just yesterday he used the words, "I don't mind writing," now he actually said likes! warmed this momma's heart). We're getting somewhere! That was one of our main goals this year--just to make writing easier.

Then I asked which spelling he liked (He's done Apples since January & All About Spelling the last 2 weeks). He said he liked both but thinks the "board" method (AAS uses a big magnet white board) will be more effective. I can't believe he thought that through, I'm impressed.

Well, try some evaluations with your kids and see what they say! Don't worry if it's not all positive--I'll post on that next.

Merry :-)

Kids Say...

2008-05-09T22:56:00.003-05:00

The kids did some freewriting today on the topic, "What would you do if you found a magic wand?" (This was from the blog at http://www.bravewriter.com/). They had so much fun with these!

Zac's is ALL boy! He wrote:

I found a magic wand. I made 8 of every Nerf gun there is. Then I made 8 bikes that turn into speeders. I went to my friend's house and we had a dart gun fight. The darts flew through the air! Then more friends came and we teamed up and did what boys do best: fight fight and fight fight fight with dart guns. Then we had races again and again. And it was the Best day ever!

Anna wrote:

Where am I? There is so much sand here. I must be in the desert. I walked for miles and miles; then I saw it. It looked like the city of Egypt. I went inside the walls and saw a magic wand. It said, "make a wish and it will come true," so I made a wish: "I want to go home." And then I was home. And then I said, "Take away my Daddy's Lyme Disease." And after that I lived happily ever after. The end.

Loving our kids

2008-05-05T22:02:00.005-05:00

Several years back I did something that was more transformational in my parenting--and my relationship with my husband--than almost anything else I can think of. I decided (really it was a God-thing, I think) to pray through I Corinthians 13:4-7 for that year. And since someone reminded me of that today, I thought I'd blog about some of my meditations during the months I prayed through this. As I recall, I prayed until September, but I decided to break it down a little further here:

In January I prayed through "Love is patient." Three little words...one huge task! "God, help me be patient when my kids are driving me nuts, when my husband is feeling sick and all I want is 5 minutes to myself." "God, am I patient? Show me where I am not patient, open my eyes that I can repent and submit that to you." Now, just so you know, if you pray for God to show you your weaknesses, He will! But He is the Father of all things Love, and if we need patience, he is the one to go to. "God, I'm out of patience--give me your patience so I can love my family."

February came, and I moved on: "Love is Kind." Are my words, my tone, my actions kind? Am I modelling the kind of kindness I hope my children will learn? God says that his kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Does my kindness lead my children to repentance, does it inspire them to want to obey? And kindness is not doormat--sometimes the kindest thing to do for a child is to establish and enforce boundaries--if it is done with kindness, compassion, love, a desire to not just have things easy, but to do what's best for our family and for that child. "God, help me to be kind. That tone I used today--oh Lord it was full of selfishness, of me--it was not kind. Help me to do better."

Selfishness...yeah...that leads me to March. "It does not envy. It does not boast." Eight words, we're moving up! "But surely, God, I'm not envious, am I?" But every time I compare my kids with other kids in my mind, in creeps either envy or boasting. We look on the surface and think others have it better--or conversely perhaps that we are better--and what fruit do these musings bring? Do we unconsciously model sometimes the very selfishness we are trying to train out of our children? Does love motivate such thinking?

April--"It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking." I guess God thought I needed another month on this theme! Rooting out pride is not easy, from our children, or from ourselves. But God never promised it would be easy. He did promise, He would be with us.

May--"It is not easily angered." I find I am not as easily angered if I keep on top of behavior issues--it's when I get lazy and ignore them and the frustration inside me builds that my anger can flare. I need to pull away, even for 5 minutes, to pray and read and get in the right frame of mind. "God, I know you are not easily angered--though sometimes I fear you will be! Help me to understand your grace and forgiveness towards me, and help me to show this to my children. Help me to train them."

June--"It keeps no record of wrongs." Hm, I remember times when I've said, "You always do this!" Yes, we parents keep records of wrongs!

July--"Love does not delight in evil, but always rejoices with the truth." What kind of a parent delights in evil? you might ask. Sheepishly raising hand. Sometimes I don't want to teach and train and discipline my children. Sometimes they make me downright angry and what I really want is revenge. A friend taught me to put "Mom" in the place of "man" in this verse:
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,20 for [Mom's] anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20 (NIV)

August--"It always protects." Do my actions protect my child, or my own interests? Conversely, sometimes the best protection for our children is to let them experience the consequences of their own actions.

September--"Always trusts." One of the most powerful articles I've ever read spoke of parents who believed in their son, and spoke into his life what they believed he could become. They trusted that he wanted to be a man of integrity and character, and they told him, even when he failed, that they knew he could grow up to be that kind of young man. Do we throw failure into our kids faces, or do we build them up by believing in them? Take a chronic sin issue and tell your child, "I believe in you. I know this is a struggle now--and I'm going to walk with you through this time. I know you can grow up to be a man/woman who is honest. Let's pray, and you let me know how I can help you with this."

October--"Always hopes." Do I have hope for my children? Or do I sometimes give up? Sometimes when I'm tempted to give up, I've been neglecting myself--after all, that's what self-sacrificing, "good" moms do, right? No, good moms take care of and invest in their child's most important resources--one of which is the child's mom. Hopelessness is almost a sure sign I'm not getting enough sleep and rest, or I'm not eating right & drinking enough water, or exercising, or spending time with the Lord...

November--"Always perseveres." "Lord give me strength when I want to give up!"

"Love never fails." A fun word-study is to search the Psalms for all the times it mentions God's unfailing love. We will fail--but He never does. Draw on His unending reserves of unfailing love daily, hourly, minute by minute.

May God give you grace and love and wisdom with your children, your husband, and those in your life. Merry :-)

Bookworm Bookmarks

2008-04-19T22:03:00.018-05:00

The kids and I have been playing with yarn! Zac & Anna wanted to learn how to crochet while I read stories, so I got them started on some basic stitches while I worked on these little critters before and after reading aloud. I remember these "bookworms" from when I was a child, they make adorable bookmarks.

This curly critter is as nosy as my kids, trying to read ahead in our book! We started reading Calico Bush yesterday morning, and just as we got to the scary part where the "wild woman" grabs the little girl...the 2nd Midwest earthquake of the day made our couches vibrate and knickknacks rattle! We missed the first one, but the second sure added some excitement to our day!

Crocheting was a nice way to relax after all the commotion

Of course, the kids followed that up with a squirt-gun fight in the rain...

Check out these Bookworms available on our website at www.hopeismyanchor.com/Bookworms.html

Random....Kids' say...

2008-04-16T19:58:00.004-05:00

My kids have come up with some doozies lately!

Praying for dinner one night, Anna (9) said, "Thank you God for this food which we are about to digest..." It took all of, oh 2 seconds for the rest of us to split a gut laughing!

Then today the car ran over a crooked stick in the road & it made a noise, so she asked what it was. "Just a stick," I replied.

"Oh," says she, "it would have been weird if it was an alien."

"Yes, it would have..." Where DO they come up with these thoughts?

The kicker was my son the other night as I got ready for a meeting.

"I like your hair, Mom."
"Thanks Honey."
"Not too much brown, not too much gray."

LOL! My Mom would disagree as she's much too young to have a daughter with this much gray. As for me, I'm in denial. Those are natural blonde highlights, aren't they?

Merry :-)

Good Friday

2008-03-21T22:43:00.004-05:00

5 minutes until time to go to the Good Friday service at our church. Anna and I are singing in the choir. I'm hurriedly trying to get my hair to curl, put on makeup, pretend I'm 20 lbs. lighter...

And Dave appears at the bathroom door: "I can't go."

sigh.

I know he can't go. But in my oblivion, my strivings at patching the pain, my attempt to go on as if life is normal, I've forgotten that he will want to go. That he will try to go. That he will have to go through the pain, once again, of realizing he can't go with us. The pain of sitting, the dizziness and headaches from all the perfumes, the difficulty concentrating...it's all too much. His wife and daughter in the choir and he is forced to be separated from us. On Easter, I'm also in the orchestra, and he can't hear it.

He hears me practice strains of harmony that hang tenuously in the air. A jazz version of Christ Has Risen, a thread of music that makes no sense without its tapestry. A hymn without the depth of chords and words. The notes mimic our lives and mock his pain, taunting him that he can't see more than a thread of the tapestry God is weaving, and how easily a thread could break...

5 minutes until time to go, and I have forgotten our lives have fallen apart, and I have nothing to put them together with, and no time to do it. We remember there's another practice before the service on Sunday. Maybe he can go to that. Maybe.

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? The words of a broken Savior, dying on the cross. Words we can understand, relate to, cry with, draw close to God with. And yet, a lonely strain of harmony hangs in the air. By contrast, Jesus was broken for a reason. This life, this thread of suffering...is without tapestry. Satan would have us believe it is woven into the Emporer's New Clothes. A facade, a nothingness. In Christ we become holy, clothed for the first time in our lives--we gain a tapestry we could never weave.

For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. --2 Cor 5:4-54

Clinging to the Spirit, for He is all we have, Merry

Here's what you're missing...

2008-02-29T12:12:00.005-06:00

I thought I'd dedicate these pictures to my mom, who is someplace warm right now. Don'tcha miss this, Mom?!

We've shoveled a LOT of snow this winter! Here's a picture of a Fort they built earlier this winter.

Right now the kids are out having fun, throwing snowballs at icicles (and the house, and each other, and me until I escaped...) They won't be in for a long time; it's 34 degrees, and they know school awaits them!

Well, this beats the -2 weather we had for awhile!

Merry :-)

"I think I'm going to like growing up!"

2008-02-12T01:34:00.000-06:00

"I can't believe we walked all around that place!" Zac marvelled to me today, remembering our trip to the Museum of Science & Industry a few weeks ago.

"Well, that's what happens as you get bigger--your legs don't tire out as quickly and you can walk farther."

That's when he gave me that all-boy, all-joy grin and said, "I think I'm going to like growing up!"

Days like this, I like it too.

How about you? Are you getting tired of walking lately? Maybe you need time to rest and grow.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. --Isa 40:27-31

Sometimes I'm still in the stumble and fall category, despite the fact that few call me "young" anymore! But usually I can trace that to trusting in myself or giving up on God, or my impatience leading my feelings away from what I know is true. I know He is with me. I know my cause is not disregarded.

Sometimes I get a taste of soaring--my troubles are in perspective when I see them from up high, completely in the hands of the Everlasting Creator. I soar on the breath of His Spirit. I am carried and comforted and renewed. I marvel at the view of His glory.

I want those days more and more. Yes, I think we're going to like growing up.

He's Normal!

2008-01-16T21:48:00.000-06:00

"Did you just call me normal?" Dave asked.
"No, *I* would never call you normal! But these test results say otherwise..." I replied.

Sorry. I have to brag on my hubby for a bit. Back in September, Dave was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. His A1c (3-month blood sugar average) was 8.9. That means his average glucose level over the 3 prior months had been above 200. Even his fasting levels were 180-220, which meant his liver was kicking glucose into his system overnight. Definitely not a good thing!

I received the news with all the eagerness of a cat in a tub of soapy water. I was done. After seven years of Lyme and other tick-borne illnesses, I was not ready to learn about yet another illness. But after I had my little rant I put on my game face and went with him to diabetes education classes. Thankfully they did the classes one on one for us so Dave could avoid perfume exposures from other classmates.

Everything seemed insurmountable to me. I knew I couldn't realistically keep track of what he eats, because one of the problems with Lyme is sleep that refuses to regulate. I can't watch what someone eats while I'm sleeping! With his memory struggles, would he remember what to eat, and when he had eaten, and to track his blood sugar?

While my fears were doing the proverbial bull-in-the-china-shop run in my mind, Dave was taking the bull by the horns and reading labels. Lots of labels. I think he knows every grocery store aisle in town now (especially the 24 hour one, which turns out to be a good place to walk in the winter as well). And walk he does--twice a day many days. He may not go far or fast, but he goes, and he doesn't give up. He's shown incredible discipline in his eating, which for anyone is difficult--but for someone with the struggles of Lyme Disease to overcome, it's downright phenomenal.

I knew he was making good progress when the other day he came out sporting his jeans that hadn't fit for awhile. But neither of us knew how well until his check-up this week. Down 18 pounds since September (35 since summer). Cholesterol down 18 points. And his A1C--a whopping 5.9 now! He's actually in the "normal" range! (That doesn't mean he can stop all the changes though, it means keep up the good work!)

It's funny how what I thought was the last straw to do us in (or at least me!), became the catalyst God used to help Dave make important health changes. We never expected results this positive--the education classes were encouraging him to get to 6.5 or 7. Anyway, I am so proud of Dave's hard work this fall, and we are praising God for seeing us through and enabling Dave to focus on the needed changes.

More than all of these...

2008-01-09T23:17:00.000-06:00

Dave took Anna shopping the other night, she loves to wander through the sewing and crafts section, and Dave's so sweet to take her. She oohed and aaahed at all the colors of yarn and thread (she's been wanting some big spools of thread, and doesn't know many await her for her upcoming birthday!). Then she turned to Dave and said, "Do you see all of these beautiful strings? (she calls them string). I wish I could buy them all! But even if I owned every one of them, I would still love you more than all of these."

Mascara in one hand...dart gun in the other

2008-01-08T21:36:00.000-06:00

We have a rule in this house. If I pick up the darts, there's only one way my son can get them back. Via the gun. I don't really care which one. The single loader. The 6-shooter. The machine-gun-like rapid shooter.

So of course, he shoots at me. Frequently. It's bonding time. The morning after Christmas Day, he caught me full in the tushie with the rapid-shooter. Velcro darts. And I had on my new, softer-than-a-fur-coat baby blue microfiber nightgown. I looked like a porcupine when he was done!

I got him back though, and not with darts. We watched Jurassic Park a few nights ago--he had always wanted to see it. Afterwards while getting ready to read science to the kids, admiring pictures and bookmarking the pages, I saw my opportunity. Imagine the head of a vicious-looking fruit-bat baring it's teeth and looking very similar to a velociraptor peeking it's head around the corner! So I quick flashed the picture at Zac while roaring, and oh my goodness! I wish I had a picture of his face when he jumped back and screamed! Poor kid said I gave him a heart attack! Bad Mommy! Bad Bad Mommy!

Since then he has missed no opportunity to try to get me back--I'm not sure my crime will ever be paid for. That must have led up to this evening's showdown. Even though my oldest is going on 11 years next month, I still don't always have the bathroom to myself. But that was ok; I had the darts. (He shot them at me, giggled, then said "oh crud!" as he dropped the gun and ran for cover). I knew he'd be back. So I got ready for my homeschool group meeting with mascara in my right hand, dart gun in my left. I found out I'm not all that bad a shot with the left hand either!

The mascara, on the other hand, needs some work. But I have years to work on that. With his rapid-fire questions today centering on such "light" topics as whether he'd have to enlist in the army when he grows up, or get married...oh, and what's the proper way to get to know a girl? and what if the government doesn't know who I am? (are you following this conversation?!)...I need all the dart-gun fights with him I can get.

So fire away, my boy, with the darts...or the questions. I'll try to be ready as often as I can.

Merry :-)

Need a Good New Year's Resolution?

2008-01-01T14:10:00.000-06:00

It's funny how things coincide sometimes! On Sunday our pastor mentioned some of the resolutions written by 19-year-old Jonathan Edwards, back in 1722-1723. Then today I received a link to all 70 resolutions!

Who was Jonathan Edwards? According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, "Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758) is widely acknowledged to be America's most important and original philosophical theologian. His work as a whole is an expression of two themes -- the absolute sovereignty of God and the beauty of God's holiness."

Truly, his resolutions are remarkable and inspiring at any age (and at 19, almost unfathomable). I'll post some below, but for the full list, go to http://www.gracegems.org/SERMONS/Resolutions.htm

RESOLUTIONS of Jonathan Edwards (1722-1723) Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ's sake. Remember to read over these Resolutions once a week.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.

6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.

14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.

19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.

20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.

25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.

28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.

29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.

53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer.

56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.

58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity.

60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination.

68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help.

70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak.

Looking for a road map?

2007-12-31T08:00:00.000-06:00

Looking to the New Year always makes me pause and reflect.

We have a beautiful park in our town and this past year they did a major overhaul on the parking areas & roads, put in a memorial garden... I can't get used to it. I drove through the winding roads one night this fall, and came again to the sign that says the exit is the opposite direction from where we used to go, even though the exit is exactly where it was before. I always think, how can this sign be correct? How can I turn right here, and finally end up left? How can this road possibly take me out of the park?

I drove that long, dark, counter-intuitive, winding road and thought, this is our life. Long, dark, going the wrong way and yet God says it will be the right way...and I don't understand it. I want the whole map--but God gives me the headlights on my path in Jesus, who is the Way. And He says that is enough.

Hosea 6:33 "So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth."(NAS)

There are few certainties in life. This coming year let us press on to know the Lord!

In Christ, Merry :-)

The hope of a child...

2007-12-27T23:46:00.000-06:00

Hello! Benjamin T. Dustbunny here again. The family is knee-deep in tissue paper and boxes, so I thought I'd post a little picture until Mom can get back on here!

This is Anna's closet. She emptied two shelves of her belongings into the hallway for next year's yard sale in anticipation of Christmas Day!

Ah to receive like a child--with open arms and always room for more!

May we look to God with the same eager anticipation--with open arms to receive His love, open minds to hear His Word, open hearts to receive His neverending mercy and grace. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas! bdb

Just For Fun...

2007-12-21T09:59:00.000-06:00

When you need a break from those million & one holiday things you need to do, here's a few short & funny videos to brighten your day:

Twelve Days of Christmas--you've NEVER heard it done this way. Don't let the normal-sounding first verse or two fool you, keep listening!

Holiday Jingle--singing Reindeer & Santa do the "Drifters" from 1954

Homeschoolers gone Adam's Family--nuff said!

And one just because she's so amazing:

Joni Eareckson Tada on Larry King Live--what an encouraging woman! You can see the whole show or just watch a few clips. I only wish the clip of her doing her painting was longer. She's amazing...and so patient. She can spend up to 9 months working on a single painting. I really respect this woman!

Ok, you may now return to your regularly scheduled shopping, baking & Christmas-card making!

Merry :-)

Ice Storms!

2007-12-16T19:37:00.000-06:00

I had to share a few pictures. This is our street. It's hard to do it justice in pictures, but the sun shining in the trees sparkled in a rainbow of colors. Thankfully we didn't have any significant damage, and not too many people here have lost power. I'll have to get a picture of our neighbor's evergreen tree that's looking more like a pole these days.

Amazingly, with the temperate weather in November, some things started to bud again. Our black-eyed susans had sprouted whole new plants!

Here you can see new leaves on our neighbor's lilac bush.

What Does God Promise Us?

2007-12-11T23:04:00.000-06:00

Ah, now there's the million dollar question! Sometimes I just want things the easy way--when I read 2 Peter 1:4, for example, I wish God had just listed out all those great and precious promises!

2 Pet 1:3-4 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

Instead of listing them, God beckons us to come, seek Him, search through his Word to see what we can find. There are a few here we can start with--everything we need for life and godliness through His divine power. That's good to know!

I think participating in the divine nature sounds pretty awesome, don't you? We're in good company; Paul thought it did too. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death... Phil 3:10

Ok, well, it sounded good at first. Though this is reality--today for people in the tragic YWAM and church shootings--and sadly in many countries around the world where people are persecuted for their faith. Paul takes it a bit further than maybe we'd care to though. Suffering really isn't part of the American way after all--at first glance it seems to get in the way of the pursuit of happiness. Or does it?

What kind of a person would sing praises to God from a prison cell after being "severely flogged" as Paul and Silas did? (Acts 16:25) Maybe one who realized that by sharing in Christ's sufferings, we will experience His power--we will participate in the divine nature.

We're familiar with power, and we often long for God to use His power to make our lives easier--but I don't see that promised in scripture either.

Or is it?

2 Corinthians 4:6-10 For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body...

Ok...so far I'm seeing hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down--nice promises! Chronic illness. Crushing circumstances. Persecution. This isn't going where I wanted it to! Where's this "easier" part?

It's coming.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Personally I find this a difficult, even painful, message. There are days when I would feel like punching my computer screen if these words dared appear before me--Dave's illness, disabled for 7 years, our lives turned upside down--this is light and momentary? Insanity! But honestly, those days my eyes are fixed on what is seen--on the pain of seeing Dave when he struggles to walk or speak or can't play with our kids, on the injustice, on the length of time we've called out to God, waiting for an answer (not always patiently).

Glory. Do we have any idea, any at all what that means? Participating in the divine nature--truly? God's power working on our behalf? We want to be strong instead of weak, but Paul says when we are weak, it's obvious that the power is from God.

When my eyes are fixed on the here and now, the weight of despair at what we're going through is magnified. When my eyes are fixed on Him, when I try to contemplate (even if only a tiny bit) His glory, His great purposes--when I am willing to surrender all my life, even my desire to see Dave healed--when I'm willing to accept what God has allowed in my life and ask Him to be glorified through our lives--then I can feel Him carrying my burden, walking with me, comforting me.

Not always--there are times I still feel lost, still feel the pain. Then I pour out my heart and cry until there are no tears left. At the end I try to lie still in my bed and imagine myself curled up in the palm of God's hand. And then I remember this great promise: For God has said, 'Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.' Hebrews 13:5

In Christ, Merry :-)

Get it in Writing!

2007-12-06T15:56:00.000-06:00

The kids and I have started interactive journalling. I tried a few years ago, but they really didn't have the writing skills or the interest yet to keep it up. This fall when my mom offered to buy a couple of books for us, I remembered this idea, and decided to pick up a journal for each of the kids. We're having so much fun!

A lot of the notes are "I love you, Mom!" but we also draw pictures to each other or say something funny, and I'm able to share things they do that bless me or make me proud of them. They love to read what I've written to them and respond back. Kids need lots of encouragement, and this is a great way to give them some.

Another benefit is that they are much more willing to write. Today when I was working on our Language Arts (changing passive verb sentences into ones with active verbs), I noticed Zac wasn't responding to my question--and he told me he was going to write it first and then tell me! This is my child who has been allergic to writing!

Now, I am a little sneaky, I admit, because we're secretly working on spelling too. I don't correct their spelling, but I notice words they misspell, and I try to use the words in my response, with the correct spelling of course. I've seen them start to spell several common words correctly through this. Gotta love those side benefits!

A great resource for encouraging all kinds of journalling is The Gift of Family Writing. Another favorite resource for encouraging writing in general, whether you homeschool or want to help your kids afterschool, is The Writer's Jungle.

Dave likes to write notes for the kids & hide them in their pants pockets for them to find, and they love this too. What things do you do to encourage your kids through writing?

Merry :-)

Immeasurable Worth

2007-12-04T23:56:00.000-06:00

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

I think every time I sing these lines in "Oh Holy Night," I choke up. I can barely get them out. Has your soul felt it's worth lately?

Sometimes I forget the intimacy that God intends. Jesus says He is not ashamed to call us brothers (Hebrews 2:11). God as Father we are used to, for a father still has authority over us--Jesus as brother? It's as hard to swallow as God becoming man.

God dwelling in a temple is not *too* difficult for us to accept. And have you ever walked into a church sanctuary, alone, and felt the quiet, the reverence, the "hallowedness" that some church sanctuaries exude? But God dwelling in us--do we have that same sense of awe and reverence as we consider God's choice of residence--in us?

If we are tempted sometimes to find our self-worth in what we can do, remember the One who ascribes us value because we are His, and regardless of what we can do.

Take a moment, like Mary, and treasure these things in your heart. Contemplate the value God has placed on you--immeasurable, unthinkable, extraordinary worth.

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.--I Jn 4:15

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.--Gal 2:20

Merry :-)

My children decorated the tree...

2007-12-03T23:32:00.001-06:00

One of them literally! (See the one-of-a-kind Anna-ornament, just above the Christmas bears). And there's a glimpse of Zac to the side, who finds the tree so bright he has to wear shades :).

Please also note the joint-effort creation of the now infamous star, which they decided should NOT be shiny, but white. They split up the work quite equitably--Zac finessed his way into "designing" the star by telling Anna she should do the decorating, since she's "so good at that." He'll make a fine delegator one day!

As for the rejected angel...when she was unpacked, Anna said maybe they should put her up next year--kids! Ah well, it's a tree with character...especially since I think the 2nd row and 3rd row of branches from the top got reversed, giving the tree that "trimmer" (pun intended!) waist many of us have on our Christmas wishlists!

This year the baby Jesus in swaddling clothing will also grace our tree--he rests inside the jeweled halo now surrounding Anna, when he's not being called "Katie" and riding on Anna's hip.

All was done while playing vintage 1960's Christmas carols on an actual record-player. (They sounded better once I changed the button from 45 to 33!).

Happy Holiday Preparations to you! Merry :-)

Why are you making us do this?

2007-11-30T10:51:00.001-06:00

Last night we finished reading Johnny Tremain (don't worry, no spoilers!). The ending was appropriate...but not satisfying to my kids. "It can't end there!" "Is there a Johnny Tremain Two?" I often hear this at the end of books. Ending a book is like saying goodbye to your friends.

So today I decided to depart from our usual language arts, and told the kids to get paper and pencil. "Did we do something wrong? Why are you making us do this?" Hm, not the response I want for a writing assignment! True, I did recently make them copy I Corinthians 13:4-7 (the Love is patient...verses--very worthwhile!). Suddenly that translates into torture?

"No. You're going to write for 20 minutes, What happened next in Johnny Tremain?" After a few, "I can't do that!" and, "We'll die!" type responses (that's right, homeschool mom's sinister plan...death by writing!), they got excited about the idea and started writing.

Zac, the resident statistician, set his watch timer for the promised 20 minute maximum. The alarm went off to wails of, "I'm not done yet!" and "I think I need another piece of paper." Say WHAT? Ah, music to this mother's ears after years of wondering if they would ever enjoy writing! We focused more on copywork and dictation this year, and it has really increased their confidence.

They each took another 20 minutes to finish, and then we sat at the table and drank hot cocoa while they read their stories out loud. Zac even used a metaphor! Very cool. Persevere, my friends!

Merry :-)

Whose plan was this, anyway?

2007-11-28T11:40:00.001-06:00

You know, I just wanted to get up and get school done today. We have an appointment at 2, and then AWANA tonight--we can't start late today. Can't things run like clockwork just because I want it?! (Ironically, when we DID finally get to school, we read Can't You Make Them Behave, King George, about George the Third and his trouble with America. He couldn't make the Americans fit into his neat and orderly plan either!)

So what was it that landed my daughter in tears (leading to lesson # 47 on women for my son--"was it something I said?" "No dear, sometimes girls are going to cry and you can't do anything about it, just make sure your words and actions are kind." This wasn't in MY curriculum today! But an important life lesson, I suppose, worth the digression).

The issue at hand? The top of our Christmas Tree. The one waiting in the closet to be put up. (The kids want it up yesterday, I want the leaves raked & some things done around the house first...) Since about September, Anna has been drawing stars in the margins of her math papers. Nighttime stars, Christmas trees with stars... "Stars, yay! Angels boo." It's not that she doesn't like angels--she just wants a star on the top of the Christmas tree.

I can relate. I grew up with a star on top of the tree. Something about a star on top seems right to me. Zac likes our angel. I made that angel before he was born. It's lovingly wrapped in tissue and placed in its own box each year to keep it fresh-looking. Zac likes to think that Mom made that angel. He likes tradition (hm...things to run like clockwork?). He likes angels and thinking about them protecting us. He likes the angel on top of our tree, and doesn't want a star.

This morning, instead of eating breakfast, the kids cut up a cardboard box. Zac was drawing a nativity scene. With a very large angel. Anna was perfecting her star. Scientifically mapping out how to make the sides exactly even, the lines straight. Planning how to cover it to make it shiny. Wondering how to attach it to the tree. And the tension was building.

Where's the wisdom of Solomon when you need it? Somehow I didn't think half a star & half an angel on top of the tree was going to solve this one. Put the angel on top & mount the star from the ceiling? Maybe. Put my foot down, say enough, we'll just keep the angel? No, that would seem like I'm choosing sides I could hear them arguing as I put laundry in the dryer. I said a quick prayer and returned to the craft-works kitchen.

Slowly, and quietly I said, "I have to talk to you children. I don't know what we're going to do about this Christmas tree topper. But we can't have this fighting. I'd rather not put up the tree than turn our Christmas season, which is supposed to be about peace and remembering why Jesus came to us, and love, and joy--into a season of fighting. Someone is going to have to give in, and not just outwardly, begrudgingly, but truly in their heart, give in and be happy about it."

That's when Anna's eyes filled with tears and she left the room. Oh yeah, we'll be getting to school REAL soon today! Were these heartbroken tears? Manipulative tears? I wasn't sure. After my little talk about women with Zac, he paused and asked, "Can I make a star for the tree too?"

ARGH! Is that what this was about?! "If you are feeling left out because Anna isn't including you in her plans to make a star, then you need to talk to her about that." Lightbulb. "I guess that IS what's bothering me about this." "Ok, well...go talk to her. You have 10 minutes and then we REALLY need to start school!"

They worked it out, the kids got breakfast, school got done, and they all lived happily ever after ...until Mom's next mental breakdown...

Merry :-)

Introducing the Dustbunny Chronicles

2007-11-26T22:31:00.000-06:00

Hi, Benjamin T. Dustbunny here, filling in. Mom really needs to clean this house! (Don't tell her I said that!)

Well, did you all have a nice Thanksgiving? I sure did, and I can tell you, after seeing what I saw last week, I am thankful that I'm a dustbunny and NOT a turkey!!

Although, my cousin Buster DB just came in from the garage, and he says it's not safe out there either--Mom's gettin' ready for winter and the dust is a-flyin'!

By the way, do you like my portrait? My human, Anna made it for me. You can see the clever paper-clip joints she made at the neck and elbow so I can eat that carrot. He-he-hee, what an imagination she has. Me, eating a carrot!

Actually she doesn't know that I watch her sometimes, but I do. (Dustbunnies are sneaky that way). She has a tender heart. I saw a paper in her room this weekend. It's a note she wrote to her mom a few weeks ago after lying, saying what she thought her consequence should be. I know Mom said she could get rid of it now. But she wants to keep it, to help her remember to tell the truth even when it's hard. Mom got tears in her eyes when Anna said that, and they hugged.

Well, Buster says the broom is coming my way, I'd better get hoppin'! 'Till next time, bdb.

So beautiful, it was a song

2007-11-25T21:07:00.000-06:00

So beautiful, it was a song

Saturday night,
Above a wispy, tree-lined horizon
The soft pink moon awoke,
Pillowed in periwinkle blue.
The gentle giant, twice normal size, beckoned us forward
As we drove home after our goodbyes-for-now.

Sing the moments, sing the days
Sing His glory and His praise
Remember Him in all your ways
Always.

The night before,
Dave felt great
And we all stayed up into the wee hours
Playing cards (Hand and Foot), enjoying
As we should, together
Guacamole, laughter, and more guacamole
Together...a rare treat...

Sing the moments, sing the days
Sing His glory and His praise
Remember Him in all your ways
Always.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard. (Ps 19:1-3)

"Look at the moon, kids!"
And we marveled as we drove
Marveled as we should
At laughter, love, creation
Moments caught with family
Before the kids are all grown.

Sing the moments, sing the days
Sing His glory and His praise
Remember Him in all your ways
Always.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-20T12:08:00.000-06:00

Several months ago, my son Zac said to me, "Mom, sometimes I think God let Daddy be sick so I could learn compassion and love." When I told Dave, he said, "That would make all this worth it."

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for my husband who, though he wasn't given a choice, would have willingly given up his health to help his son. He is a true example of Christ to me.

I'm thankful for my son, who wants to follow Christ and learn how to love others, even when it hurts.

I'm thankful for my daughter, whose smile and desire to help me cook warms my heart.

I'm thankful for the best stuffing on earth (my SIL's!).

And for my SIL who makes it and welcomes us into her home with fun and love.

For our beloved parents.

For family to laugh and cry with.

For friends and our church.

For a roof over our heads and enough food to eat.

For the trial of Dave's Lyme disease--which has brought us much heartache, but has also taught me how to love, and has drawn me closer to my family and to God.

And I'm thankful for my Lord, who has carried us through many difficult years. "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."

May God grant you many things to be thankful for, whether in abundance or the lack of it, as you trust in Him.

Happy Thanksgiving! Merry :-)

What is Farkle?

2007-11-19T21:31:00.000-06:00

"I fixed your blog for you," my dh said this morning.

"Oh? What was wrong with it?" I asked, feeling a bit scared.
"It said you live in Afghanistan!"

oops. I guess that's the first-on-the-list default choice, LOL! I wonder how many of the Afghani bloggers are really from somewhere else?!

Well, on to Farkle. Some call this game "10,000." Dh and I played in college, it's a fun, fast-paced dice game. I recently taught our kids, and they are hooked! There are several variations on how to play and score points (just google "Farkle rules"), but here are our family rules:

You'll need: 6 dice, a pen and paper.

Play: Each player takes turns rolling the dice. Each time you roll, you have to remove at least one die that is worth points (I'll list the point values below). Then you have to decide whether to score those points or roll the remaining dice, trying to get more points. If you get more points, you can keep rolling, but if your re-rolled dice have no value, you lose all points that you would have earned that round.

Point Values:
1-100
5-50
3 of a kind (in one roll, not cumulative) = 100 times that number (ie, 3 2's = 200).
4 of a kind = the above points plus 100 (ie, 4 2's = 200 plus 100 = 300)
3 1's is 1000
3 pairs (ie 2 2's, 2 4's & 2 5's for example) = 500 points
6-straight (1-2-3-4-5-6 in ONE roll) = 1500 points
Farkle-no points at all rolled, lose your turn.

Example: Role 6 dice & get 3 5's, a 4 and 2 6's. Set the 3 5's aside, that's 500 points. You can decide to stop and rack up 500 points, or you can gamble and roll the remaining 3 dice. Let's say you roll again, a 1, a 5, and a 2. You pull out the 1, that's 100 points, and the 5, that's 50 points, so now you're up to 650. You decide that's enough & stop, so you now officially add those 650 points to your written score. If you rolled again & got, say, a 2--well, you lose those 650 points, pass the dice to your left, so sad for you.

However--let's say you gamble, roll that last die, and get a 1--now you're up to 750 points, you've used up all 6 dice--you can pick ALL the dice up and roll them all again, and keep adding points!

Additional rule--we play that to get on the score board initially, you have to start with a minimum of 1000 points--so you have to keep rolling until you get 1000 or more for that first score, or until you lose your points & your turn. Once you are on the score board, you can stop at any point value you want.

To win: As you may have guessed by the alternate title, you need 10,000 cumulative points or to win. Once you hit or pass 10,000, everyone else gets one more turn. They have to roll until they can beat your point total (thus winning themselves) or until they don't score & get no points for that round.

This is a really fun way to encourage kids to use their addition skills, as well as teaching them about probability! Plus--it's just plain fun. Enjoy! Merry :-)

Favorite Verses

2007-11-19T00:15:00.000-06:00

Ps 46:1-11
1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah(NIV)

When our mountains quake and our lives are falling apart, there is a strong temptation to believe God has abandoned us--but He is ever-present and beckons us to Him, to find refuge in Him, to be still and know--know deep within our soul and in our mind and in our hearts--that He is God, and He is with us.

What are you reading in the Word lately? Is there a passage that's really speaking to you?

Merry :-)

I know what the problem is, Mom!

2007-11-17T22:37:00.000-06:00

Here I am, starting my first blog and hoping I've not completely lost my mind. Hold the comments on that thought please! Gee, I can see one has to be VERY careful in how they go about things in blogland!

So, I guess I'll start with a story...about story problems. Yeah, math. Specifically Anna's. They were all wrong yesterday--she added instead of subtracting. So I called her to me and had her read the problems to me. She stumbled a bit on the names & on one other word, but she understood the meaning of the problem. I could tell by the big, "OOOOOOOhhhhh" as she read them.

I encouraged her (after helping her with the names and the word cabbage--why do they do word problems on cabbage? If the word had been chocolate, I'm sure she could have read it!) that she could always come ask me what a word means if she doesn't know it. Then she said, "I know what the problem is mom. I don't ever read the words, I just assume it's adding!" Oh my goodness, I think we laughed for 5 minutes!

Zach was in the room, and he had to chime in, "Yeah, Anna, the words aren't there just to fill up the page and make it look pretty." Hmmm, I wonder who could have put an idea like that in his head?

I think little moments like these are gifts from God--an opportunity to make a connection with our kids. It could just as easily have been a moment of frustration or impatience on my part, and driven a wedge between my daughter and I. But in laughter we can find healing and family-bonding.

What can you do to make a connection with your kids today?

Merry :-)